Most people’s first experience of cinema and the glittering life of showbiz is that of Disney. Disney are responsible for giving Girls and boys the first flurry of adventure and escape that you can only really find at the Movies.
They teach you about Sadness and empathy, and more importantly about Love and Hope. No matter how sickly and misleading it is.
In fact, in retrospect Disney taught a lot of things. It just isn’t the lessons Walt intended.
5 things Disney Accidentally taught me about Adult Life
1. Singing solves EVERYTHING
I learnt early on that singing to yourself, or in fact out loud can improve things 100%.
Doesn’t matter if its a popular song or A made one. Singing is great, just ask Gareth Malone, or failing that, Mary Poppins.
Its very hard to be an angry bitch if your singing like a bird.
2. Never trust a guy with an over styled beard
Most of the villains in Disney Film have a stupid, over trimmed beard, they are the one thing that you associate with evil badies. Look at Hitler and Justin Lee Collins.
3. Animals can’t dress you
Don’t try it, not only will the RSPCA be on your back, but people will think you’re a nutter.
4. Buy cheap Party Shoes
I’m not stupid. I buy all my party shoes from Primark. What kind of person wears glass shoes anyhow…
5. No Man is a Prince
Finally, this is the biggest con of the lot. I whole heartily believed I was going to be I was going to fall in love with a handsome, swave, man, who would have an air of mystery about him. Unfortunately this is not the case, at least not in my experience anyway.
In my experience, they are arseholes and instead of a knight in shining armour, I get the vast in tin foil. Either that or we get so comfortable in each others company he burps, farts snores and scratches all the time.
I’m sure if Alladin displayed that type of behaviour he’d have been out on his ears and not pissing about on a flying carpet..