Defying the Stereotype

Posted on the 04 July 2011 by Juliez

the joke that started it all

Me: Make me a sandwich?

That was my Facebook status recently, and it led to a whole debate. People were saying that I should be in the kitchen, making food (should’ve expected that one) and I responded by telling them that a woman’s place is not in the kitchen, barefoot and pregnant. I mean, I’m a med student for Pete’s sake!

Yes, I want to be a mother and yes, I could use some cooking practice, but that doesn’t mean that’s all I should do. So my housemates and I eat two minute noodles and use those ingenious ready made meals. So what? We don’t have the time or the energy to slave away in front of the stove for hours on end. Hats off to the women who have, seriously, but that’s not for us.

Later, the “F” word pops up in my inbox. Yes, feminist. This got me thinking. Am I really a feminist? I mean, I want to be a mother, I want to be the best wife I can be, but I have always thought of myself as a feminist – just not the stereotype of a crazy feminist that people seem to automatically assume is what all feminists are like.

My response to being called a feminist? “What of that? There’s nothing wrong with being a feminist.” And there isn’t. Being a feminist doesn’t mean that I think all men are the scum of the earth (only some). And it also doesn’t mean that I want to replace every male with the “awesomer” sex, because that would be ridiculous.

I also recognize that there are differences between each sex. We’re equal and should all be treated equally, but we’re not the same. We’re not lower than them on the ladder of life and they’re not lower than us. We’re on totally different ladders, reaching for totally different things. As it should be.

I personally like the feel of being held in a man’s big, strong arms, and yes, maybe I should  learn to cook. I can’t live off microwave food forever. But in the end, that’s what feminism is about. It’s not about trying to better, it’s trying to be equal and doing the things that make you happy despite your sex or what society expects of you.