via pensandpeonies.com/ | edited by moi
I read this article by late Khushwant Singh a few weeks back and it resonated with me on so many levels. Over the years life has converted me into a loner. Actually, scratch that. I was a loner growing up, trying to be an extrovert. Then I pretended to be an extrovert. And now I am back to being a loner. I'd rather be alone in a room reading a book or simply with my thoughts than be bothered with small-mindless conversations with people I do not care about or connect with.
After reading that article, I realized that I too have thought a whole lot about death. Not in a sad-depressing-way but just as an inevitable end to my journey. Sometimes I think of my own death in reference to the effect it would have on people close to me. I wonder if they would miss me and if it would make a difference to anyone one's life. We all live in the bubble of self-importance, while the truth is that the world carries on without each one of us, just fine. People die. You miss them and then you go on with your day … and life. What else are you going to do? In the beginning you think of them everyday and then a few times in the year and slowly the memory fades, resurfacing only when scratched.
In fact, I am more fascinated by death than I am by birthdays. Last year, I had mentioned how birthdays had stopped meaning much to me. Not only mine but also everyone else's too. When I really got thinking I couldn't find the logic as to why am I celebrating a day which I had absolutely no contribution to. In fact, I think every person's birthday should be changed to "Parent's Day" as it is their lives that changed and it's their special day (assuming it was a 'wanted' pregnancy). Needless to say there aren't many people who agree with my logic, as we have been programmed from day one of our life that birthday is a big deal. When someone asks me for my special birthday plans, I nonchalantly reply, "Everyday is special", which of course it not taken too well either. They expect something 'celebratory' to happen on that day. But I truly mean it. I have been living the last couple of years as every day could be my last day. Anything a person would do on their birthday (or Anniversary) we just go ahead and do it on any given day. Why should I save the celebration to just one day? I want to celebrate everyday. Or at least definitely the day I feel like celebrating. I buy myself gifts the day I see something I like, which are not really 'gifts' but I am just trying to make a point. Why should I need a reason or wait for several months to buy something I want and can afford right now?
I also realized how I connected with 95 year old Khushwant Singh than I do with anyone of my own age (that was his age when he wrote that piece)! And inspired by him I decided to write my own obituary.
Tanvi Rastogi, 32, Texas, U.S.A. originally from New Delhi, India passed away on Day, Month, Year, Time. She was married to Dr. A since 2007. He was also the only person who truly knew and understood her. She took pride in her creativity and strength, both physical and mental. She had many hobbies, traveling being her favorite. One of her greatest passions in the last decade was blogging. She cherished the connection she made with strangers. She is survived by her brother, her parents and her loving husband and would be remembered by many of her readers.