Dear Cabby...

Dear Cabby:  I am in an embarrassing position. I have run up tabs of around a million bucks for two nights at hotels in London and Paris . I had hoped no-one would notice but nooo... it's all over the  Internet and my boss who is trying to create the impression that we are saving as much money as possible, is on his way back from the Middle East and will be really pissed when he hears about it. What shall I do?  Joe B. Wilmington, Del.

Dear Joe: You're kidding me, right? Half a million a night? Buddy, your boss is going to put you  in chains when he hears about this. Why can't you stay at an ordinary hotel. They gotta Holiday Inn in Piccadilly for about $100 a night. I stayed there with my wife Connie on our honeymoon. You gotta problem widdat?? A million bucks for two nights? You could rent goddam Buckingham Palace for that with a free breakfast. Meantime, Why not cut back on other travel.  I read in the Post that you fly to Delaware every weekend. Take the goddam train, Joe. You gotta problem widdat? -- Cabby