Life At The Frat Houseby Brian Gallagher
Confession: I may be fourty years old but I am seventeen at heart.Life at my house is that of four teenagers at this point. Thetriplets and me. We are quite the crew when you encounter all of us.It doesn't matter if we are at an art show, concert, out to dinner,shopping or just hanging out on the deck at home. There is pushing,joking, name calling, conversations about anatomy and occasionallybody emanations that really shouldn't be described on something assacred as the internet. My point? I'm too young to be this old and Iwill fight my age to the bitter end. As I told Michelle recently "Iwill color my hair until it retreats past the 38th parallel because Iam that vain."
People always ask what it was like and how did we handle raisingtriplets. "We didn't know any other way. We never had one kid at atime. We just had a litter." It was our first and only pregnancy, itwas natural, it was expensive, it is still expensive. We were in ourearly 20s, not something I recommend, and we were just dumb enough tothink we could handle it. Now that they are older they have gottenmuch easier to take care of but they are still my babies. I haven'tlet them totally grow up because I don't want to totally grow up. Istill want to laugh at dumb things, make jokes with them and beinvolved in what they think is funny. I have taught them to begentlemen, good citizens, excellent students, sarcastic, snarky andcapable of gently picking on someone (That went downhill, didn'tit?).
So if a momish wants to step into this life what can she expect? Shecan expect four gentlemen at the start of the relationship. Afterthat...you are on your own. Defend yourself, don't let them see yousweat, keep your head on a swivel and always, ALWAYS, exercise cautionwhen opening a closed bathroom door after it has recently beenvacated. Ignore the beer cap dining room table, it has a story. Loudmusic is always necessary no matter the time or the genre of music.Tennis shoes will always be in the living room but the rest of thehouse is immaculate. Teenage boys occupy a lot of furniture space sositting in the kitchen is not just practical it is a little romantic.Napkins are optional because pantlegs and the pug are acceptable forhand wiping. Teenagers are awesome designated drivers. Yes, thatsmell is coming from their laundry basket and they will eventuallynotice it. Finally, they will lift heavy objects for you, fetch you adrink and make you feel welcome...or they'll pay for it later.