My Own Personal Post
I had checked on our son and he was shaken and I sat for an hour rocking him to sleep and I promised him I would never let his daddy hurt him again.
“ But daddy will hurt you”.
He would not be able to hurt any of us ever again as he was going to be six foot under.
After the children were finally settled I returned downstairs.
“ I will say sorry tomorrow to him and maybe buy him that figure he wanted at the weekend”.
“ Yes “ I said smiling “ That would be nice”
“ You know I never meant to do it don’t you”?
“ Oh yes of course I know you never meant to do it, you were tired and he was screaming and you just lost your temper” I reassured him.
“Do you forgive me” he had by now started to cry. “ You wont leave me will you, I swear I will get help and it will never happen again, we don’t have to tell anyone, we can just say he fell off the bed”
“ Yes we can tell them that and keep it a secret”.
“ I do love you you know,I know I don’t show it sometimes but I could not live without you. If you ever left me I would kill myself.”
“ I will never leave you” I told him.
I have no idea whatsoever how I got through that night. I was deranged. I can only describe my thoughts as being possessed. As I was talking to him I just said the things he wanted to hear, when inside I was screaming and telling him I was going to break every fucking bone in his body and I would enjoy watching the fear and the pain in his eyes. When he touched me I never flinched yet my blood bubbled, it was rather crazy . I do think if anyone else other than him had seen me , I believe I would have been sectioned.
We went to bed that night as normal, we even made love. He turned over and was soon snoring, I tuned over and reached for the knife that was still hidden deep within the mattress.
I ran the cold sharp blade threw my palm and it cut my skin, the blood ran along to the very tip if the blade.
“ Hey” I said nudging him, he half woke and rolled onto his back, his eyes opened slightly, enough to see me kneeling beside him with the knife pointing directly at his face. His eyes widened and his face turned deadly white. If he wanted to move, he couldn’t, he was stuck dumb with fear.
I smiled and tilted my head, I ran the tip of the knife from his forehead to the bottom of chin and then with one almighty thud I stuck it into his throat. The skin sliced easily, it was just like peeling and apple, I sliced and I sliced and I chopped away at the little green apple. The bed sheets were now a bright red shade and the blood pumped out of many different areas. I had gone for the throat. He had wanted to shut my son up, now I was fucking shutting him up. If he had no voice box he wasn’t going to talk.
He was trying to scream, to make a noise yet was choking on blood.
I laughed.
I sat and I watched as the color drained from his face, I watched as his eyes started to flicker and close. I watched his chest falling and rising slower and slower. I sat and I waited, waiting for him to take his last breath.
It seemed to be taking forever. So I reached to the bedside cabinet and took out the hammer.
I stood on the bed and I raised it high above my head and I crashed it down onto his skull, over and over again all the while laughing. Finally when my arms had become heavy and tired was I happy I had done enough.
He was dead. I smiled. “ Goodbye darling” I whispered as I closed his eye lids.
I put my hand under the bed and grabbed hold of the book I had been reading, I only had two chapters left so thought now I could have some peace and quiet I might put it to some good use and read the ending. So I turned away for him and wiped my blood soaked hands on the sheet and began to read my book.
About an hour after I had killed him, I finished reading and turned around to look at him. I panicked. Oh my god now what was I meant to do. I guess I had to phone an ambulance. But he was dead so an ambulance was not must use. Maybe I should just phone the police.
I climbed out of bed and closed the bedroom door behind me. I went downstairs and picked up the phone, dialling 999 and being asked what emergency service I required I stuttered “ Well I have just killed my husband so not sure but the police I guess”.
I wandered my way back upstairs as I had to make sure the children never woke. I sat on the edge of the bed waiting for the police. They seemed to take forever, I had no idea what the time even was and ended up curling into a ball and was soon fast asleep.
The thudding at the door made me jump. Oh no the police were here. My heart stopped. What had I done. I was never going to see my children again. The door thudded again.
“ Oh shit” he said startled as he jumped out of bed “ Iv slept in”
I just lay there frooze to the spot. What the hell was going on, was I dreaming. The last time I saw him was before I had fallen asleep and his face was all smashed in.
“ Speak to you tonight gotta go”. With that half pulling on his trousers he darted to the door and off he went jumping into the work van with his work friend who had come to pick him up.
I was confused, I knew I had not dreamed it, it had happened, it really had. What was going on? The following day was the day I left my husband, I would later move home and divorce him.