Sometimes you never know the end of a relationship. Sometimes, you also never know the content and depth of one. Today, I will be starting a series which I want to call simply Conversations. It is real conversations with my understanding of life, experiences that look like there were pre-ordained to happen and some that are definitely a gift of grace.
I will be discussing friendship today. You know when you start a friendship, you are sometimes permitted to understand why that friendship subsists. We understand the Eternal laws of the creator and one of the important ones states that birds of the same feather flock together. So for years, I wondered what was the same feather about me and Azizat. She was a whiz at maths and the sciences. I fancied myself as a surgeon and because of Mr Gadima my physics teacher, I always failed Physics. When Azizat and I met, I was already the mother of a young boy and going to the library to read for my A levels. I was very poor and she came from the middle class. What was the similarity? She was still in school at FSS(Federal school of science) and I was a young confused mom. Azizat could talk a horse to stand still. She was a magpie, I was always silent. We are friends. We have been friends for some forty-nine years. I am still the quiet one, still poor and learning about the confusing human being. Azizat is very rich, very vocal and successfully married to the love of her life. I could decide now that the similarity between us was our interest in spirituality. I hated churches and pastors, she was indifferent to them. Azizat has remained a trusted friend and support in all the years we have been together. We are still together. What is the implication and lesson in that? If you look at your fellow human being as a fellow traveler in life, you might work on your differences and learn how to give.I learned how to listen to her, I learned how to see that her enthusiasm also includes being helpful. She calls me a funny name, that I am indifferent to finances but she appreciated it later and would ask for my opinion in financial issues or on her staff sometimes. We are real friends that still maintain our individual identity.
I have another friend, as completely different as my girlfriend Azizat. I have never met him physically but I trust him completely. It is the craziest form of friendship. I know what is similar about us and why we are friends. Bobby wrote a book on rape survivors. I almost did not read the book because, at about the same time, I had been sent a book on Financial policies of America. My friends laughed because that was the last subject on Earth I could speak on let alone review. When Bobby asked what I thought of his book I tried to answer as politely as I could that I do not review finance much less the financial policies of America. He stunned me by replying that he did not write such a book. I went back to my stored documents and came across his name and his book. TO THE SURVIVORS BY ROBERT UTARO. I was stunned. He opened a room I had kept under firm lock for years. He streamed a light into a darkened furnace and released me into the dawn of springs, laughing brooks and I could take a walk again. I adapted the stories to a radio series in my community. People called, I did interviews and had a group of young persons who told me their own stories of abuse. An aspect of my life got enriched through this. I felt humbled each time a girl or a boy walked up to me, tears in eyes and shed their own abuse. I felt very small and very grateful. Bobby became a confidante and friend in the way I could not share with anyone. My friendship with Bobby is almost telepathic for he can pick my thoughts and sense my pain. There is a favorite saying he gave me that has been deeply helpful. A very simple statement ‘Strength from Above’
I will talk about these two friends today. I will still talk about some others. Like I said I wish to share with you my conversations with myself. My gratitude for permission to have met these friends and how they had helped me in certain phases of my life. When things get very rough, you can always be sure to receive strength from above only if you ask.
Thank you Azizat for learning that it is not the money but what good you can do with it and recognizing that I gave you my honest friendship each time never impressed by money
Thank you, Bobby, this is for you. I will always continue to write, see if my writing can be helpful and be grateful for strength from above.