Confessions of an Expat: Turning 30 on the Road
As far back as I can remember the idea of turning 30 years old was always far off in the future, a magical age by which I would be full grown with my education be hind me, a family in the making, a steady job, a steady income and a maturity I had yet to discover. But here I sit, alone, in a small apartment in the mountains of Phuket as I flip a blank page in the book of life, between two seemingly monumental chapters of my existence.
Life has a way of changing in the blink of an eye, and providing the opportunities and chances for each of us to leap into the unknown, unsure of what, if anything, will catch us when we fall.
While I couldn’t have seen this moment years ago, here it is, a monumental day in the life of any young adult, as I sway on the edge of what can only be looked on as major, and very different, chapters of my life.
Sixteen months ago Marina and I took another leap and moved to Thailand, with nothing but each other, our cameras and a longing to see the world, explore the unknown and take a chance on life we felt we absolutely couldn’t pass up. The last year and a half has been incredible, challenging, life changing, filled with ever lasting memories and moments neither of us will ever forget. We were lucky enough to visit over 35 countries, step foot on five continents, fall in love with Paris, swim in arctic waters, explore Machu Picchu, play with tigers in Thailand and visit the Great Pyramids together.
We’ve made life long friends during the process, tried foods we never thought existed and taken chances we never thought we would, and we did it all together. As I sit here looking back I can only think how lucky I’ve been to go on such an adventure, and to do it all with my best friend by my side.
Two weeks from now I’ll be sitting behind a desk at an office in Dubai, working with a new group of friends and taking yet another leap into an equally terrifying new world. And while I have no idea what the future holds and where this next chapter will take me, I smile knowing that whatever happens will be yet another layer to the amazing journey which is life and trust that each experience I have been through thus far will guide me going forward. I can only trust that the seemingly unconnected lessons I have learned while living on the road will act as stepping stones to guide me as I go into the unknown of a city, culture, people and lifestyle I know nothing about.
I’ll be honest, the road I’ve chosen hasn’t been easy. Change is hard, moving on is hard, starting something new is hard. Travel has a glamour that can easily be fantasized about through facebook posts and instagram pictures. But few know the deeply lonely feeling of arriving in a new city, wiping the slate clean and having to build your entire life from the ground up, a feeling not easily captured in social media interaction. I’d be lying if I said I never envied those who desire to stay in one place to build a solid foundation, community, life.
I don’t know why I have the constant push inside me to escape, explore and experience. Sometimes it feels more of a duty than a desire, a task more than a dream, a mission more than a fantasy. And yet I continue down the road in search of the answers, unsure of what I’ll find.
Travel has been the best education I could ever ask for and has provided the tools needed to tackle my life head on, with the knowledge that can only come from blindly jumping into the world and facing the trials and tribulations that come attached to such an act.
Travel will always be there for me to turn to when I need a slap in the face, a dose of reality, a lesson needing to be learned.
No matter where I go in the world, I bring with me the kindness and warmth of those I’ve been lucky enough to meet along the way, igniting the light behind my eyes and helping me to navigate this crazy adventure we all call life.
I have many more memories to capture, mistakes to make, friends to meet and as I fall asleep each night I dream, excited to wake and greet them all.
So here I sit, 30 years old, nothing more, nothing less. And while my childhood vision of what I would be by this age is as far off as the stars in the sky, I am filled with so much more than my wildest imagination could never have dreamed, and for that I am endlessly grateful.
The world has shown me what I have needed to see up to this point. It has taught me what I needed to know and introduced me to those whom I have needed to meet, all adding to the great kaleidoscope that is a human life, and we are only just getting started.
To those I meet down the road, I can’t wait to look back and be truly unable to imagine my life without you in it. To those I’ve met thus far along the way, you’ve impacted my life for the better, no matter the size of the role we’ve played in each others lives. And to Marina, I could have never had such an amazing adventure without you and cannot wait for the memories and adventures we have yet to make, whatever form they come in.
Family is so important when traveling, whether in friends, strangers, siblings or parents and I couldn’t have asked for a better family to encourage and support all my travels thus far. While living so far away hurts at times, I think our mutual love for travel has only acted to bring us all closer. (Thanks Whatsapp)
So thats it, the sun has set on another birthday. I’ve waxed poetic and the only thing to do is move on to see what tomorrow brings. Last year on my birthday, as the clock struck midnight, I was in a tuk tuk in route to the emergency room with a case of Dengue fever, a birthday adventure I’ll never forget. And while this year’s birthday is a more reflective one, I appreciate it all the same.
However, above all else, sitting here I am most shocked that the small patch of my beard still hasn’t filled out.
I mean come on, I’m 30!
.H