I was sat yesterday thinking about doing something to cheer my partner up. I had realised it had to be sexual ( hes a sex mad maniac hence, us having five kids ) and a plan was forming . Then he rang me to rant about his work and after a few minuets of stressing had to cut short the call to talk to someone. He said he would call back in couple minuets.
Credit
It occurred to me that why didn’t I answer his phone call pretending to be a sex slut slave kind of a thing. He would love it and it would take his mind off work.
The phone rang so i took a deep breath, didn’t look at caller ID and answered it.
I basically said the following; I was a sex slut and what service does he require? I stated that I was open to all suggestions and all requests should be made ORALLY, and that I specialise in blow jobs and would like my neck bitten.
The line was deadly quiet then a female voice came on.
Hello is that Alex’s mum? It was my sons teacher.
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Unfortunately the ground didn’t swallow me up and ten minutess later I had to face her.
Then, just to add insult to injury I decided to try and surprise the other half when he returned home from work. He text me to say he was on his way home, I made the kids sit in front room with dvd ( the living room at the back of the house), went upstairs, stripped and locked the front door and waited.
There was a tap at the front door, I took off my dressing gown, unlocked the door and nakedly opened it to the gas man, who in all honesty was terrified and literally ran away.
My partner came home to me crying as I was completely embarrassed, I told him why and suffice to say he laughed , a lot, the un supportive traitor, and said I should see the funny side.
So there you go, I am never opening my door again,I am changing schools and joining a nunnery.
An anonymous confession of a mom.