Before I start, let me be clear that these are just some suggestions. They may not work in every circumstance - especially considering things like power imbalances and privilege. Finally, I'm sure I'm not the first (or last!) person to think of these, so all the credit to those who are doing this work, especially those who came before me!
You look great. Have you lost weight?
Nope, just my usual fine fat self!
Nope, I'm the same weight. Maybe just you've overcome some of your fatphobia? Congratulations!
You have such a pretty face.
Well yeah, but have you seen my ass?
This feels like a backhanded compliment? Surely you're not suggesting that the rest of me isn't pretty?
Have you ever thought about dieting?
Yup, I got duped like so many of us have. So glad I finally did the research and left that BS behind.
Not for a long time, thankfully.
If you just lost weight you'd be so stunning.
If you lost your fatphobia, you'd know I already am stunning!
No, if I lost weight I'd just be thinner, I'm stunning either way.
You are killing yourself!
Nope! I'm caring for my body by loving and caring for it, instead of hating and starving it.
You're killing this conversation. If I want your opinion, I promise you'll be the first to know.
Wow, you're fat!
Wow, you're...observant?
Sure am! Thanks for noticing.
Medical professionals: "What are you doing about your weight."
What are you doing about the severed limb I came in here for? Let's focus on my health, please.
I actually have a whole post to help with this one!Doctors: "Every fat person who comes into this office is sick!"
Um, it's a doctor's office so...what were you expecting?
Dr. Oz taught us this lesson!Sorry but you can't be fat and be healthy.
Health is not an obligation, barometer of worthiness, entirely within our control, or anyone else's businesss unless we ask it to make it their business. Which I'm not doing, by the way, so no need for further conversation about this.
I'm just worried about your health
Let me relieve you of that burden, I'm not interested in your thoughts about my health so you can feel free to focus on other things.
I'm just worried about your ability to understand what is and is not your business.
Don't you care about your body?
I care for it so much that I no longer engage with bullshit body-shaming like this.
Don't you care about our friendship? If you can't respect me and my body, at any size, then it's time for me to go.
But I lost weight and now I'm healthier/happier/life is better, so your anti-diet-and-intentional-weight-loss beliefs are wrong.
Believe whatever you want, do whatever you want, it's your body. I expect you to give me, my beliefs, and my body the same respect. And if you're among the 95% of people who gains all their weight back, know that I think your body is equally wonderful at any size.
That's it for now, I'm looking forward to reading your comeback ideas in the comments!
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This e-course that includes coaching videos, a study guide, and an ebook with the tools you need to create a rock-solid relationship with your body. Our relationships with our bodies don't happen in a vacuum, so just learning to see our beauty isn't going to cut it. The world throws obstacles in our way - obstacles that aren't our fault, but become our problem. Over the course of this program, Ragen Chastain, Jeanette DePatie, and six incredible guest coaches will teach you practical, realistic, proven strategies to go above, around, and through the obstacles that the world puts in front of you when it comes to living an amazing life in the body you have now.
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Book and Dance Class Sale! I'm on a journey to complete an IRON-distance triathlon, and I'm having a sale on all my books, DVDs, and digital downloads to help pay for it. You get books and dance classes, I get spandex clothes and bike parts. Everybody wins! If you want, you can check it out here! ( DancesWithFat Members get an even better deal, make sure to make your purchases from the Members Page!)
Book Me! I'd love to speak to your organization. You can get more information here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!
I'm (still!) training for an Iron-distance triathlon! You can follow my journey at www.IronFat.com .
If you are uncomfortable with my offering things for sale on this site, you are invited to check out this post.
Published by Ragen Chastain
Hi, I'm Ragen Chastain. Speaker, Writer, Dancer, Choreographer, Marathoner, Soon to be Iron-distance triathlete, Activist, Fat Person. View all posts by Ragen Chastain