CITIZEN THYMES EXCLUSIVE- 3 Rejected Asheville Tea Party Raffle Prizes

Posted on the 04 January 2013 by Citizenthymes @citizenthymes

ASHEVILLE-  The Asheville Tea Party will go ahead with the “Great Gun Giveaway” raffle this Sunday in the parking lot of the WNC Agricultural Center during the Land of Sky Gun and knife show, despite criticism from outlets such as the Huffington Post that the giveaway seemed insensitive due to the recent shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newton, Conn.

While the recent raffle prize of DPMS Panther Oracle AR15 assault rifle may seem controversial, believe it or not the Asheville Tea Party has rejected some raffle prize suggestions for being too controversial in the past.

The Citizen Thymes did some digging and here are the Top 3 rejected Asheville Tea Party Raffle Prizes.

3. Drift: The Unmooring of American Military Power by Rachel Maddow

If you send a member to Barnes and Noble to pick up last minute raffle prizes you better make sure that member can read. Hank Stubbins recalls his mistake of buying what he calls ‘liberal toilet paper.’

“They told me to get whatever, just something patriotic,” said Stubbins.

“The book was right there at the front of the store and it had a soldier on it. I had no idea it was written by that hootenanny skinny Communist man.”

Drift was not given away as a prize, but members did have a hell of time shooting it with an M16 according to Stubbins.

2. The Bible

The Asheville Tea Party didn’t want to confuse its members with all that ‘love thy neighbor’ mumbo jumbo stuff Jesus said. After all that may prevent members from understanding that all social programs to help the poor should be cut to reward rich people with tax breaks, because rich people are oh so very oppressed by high taxes.

The Bible was given away, but the New Testament was ripped out. Makes for faster reading.

1. Backyard Nuclear Silo

Well let’s just say the Asheville Tea Party didn’t reject a backyard nuclear missile silo as a raffle prize per se. Turns out building your own backyard nuclear missile silo breaks a couple federal laws. Who knew?

President Obama’s weak stance on Iran and North Korea lead the Tea Party to try to take the nation’s defense in their own hands. The Tea Party started building a nuclear missile silo. Thankfully members had only tied just a couple microwaves together before being busted by federal agents.