Beatrix writes:
I’ve lived in quite a few different non western cultures where what you deem male & female ‘principles’ are completely different.I have seen that Borderline traits such as ’emotional overwhelm’ will be expressed differently in male & females- For example, a raging BPD male will be typically more quick to resort to physical violence whereas a raging BPD female will be limited to verbal threats & attacks (albeit EXTREME to the point of being ridiculous).
I doubt if being angry most of the time and blowing up on a regular basis is part of the Feminine Principle. A lot of humans do that, and I have known many males who are chronically angry and irritable and blow up all the time. Of course they are a bit more violent than the females most of the time. I am not sure if blowing up all the time is either male or female. Children of both sexes throw tantrums and male and female adults both throw tantrums. The men I have known that were chronically angry and blew up all the time didn’t seem particularly feminine to me.
And in places like India, a lot of the men there act very feminine. There is way too much Feminine Principle going on in those males. It’s just ridiculous.
I would say that chronic anger and regular emotional explosions has been a male tendency for most of history simply because females were not supposed to act that way. But females have always done this – recall Shakespeare’s “Hell hath no fury” quote.
In cultures with extreme traditional sex roles, this behavior is very frowned upon in females and is seen as very unfeminine or “acting like a whore” – in Latin America, “acting like a woman of the street.”
In the Philippines, there is a syndrome called “making tampo.” It is the feminine version of a temper tantrum. However, in most cases, it is not an emotional blowup. Instead making tampo involves silent treatment, pouting, withholding sex, burning the dinner, that sort of thing. Females have typically been required to express their aggression more passively than actively, and out of control angry females were probably disciplined in most cultures. In some cultures, they may even have been killed.
However, in modern Western culture, women blow up as much as men if not much more so.
In fact, in US White culture among my age/class bracket, the females are chronically irritable and angry and display frequent emotional explosions far more than men do.
This is because among my class of White men, the most important thing is emotional control. You simply are not supposed to lose it.
I know that when I lose it, people are often so freaked out that they usually threaten to call the police. This is probably because I am so passive most of the time that when people see me explode, it seems so out of character that they figure I am about to go shoot up the nearest school.
There’s this idea that when a peaceful, easy going guy blows up, he’s particularly dangerous, but I doubt if it’s true. We are passive and mellow because we are so self-controlled. Most of us passive types feel like blowing up a lot, but we simply inhibit the impulse. So a typical day involves inhibiting ones impulses maybe hundreds of times. Life is Endless Inhibition. Once you get used to living like that, you get very good at controlling yourself.
I even control myself very well when I blow up. My verbal and even physical violence is tightly controlled and orchestrated almost to the point of being choreographed. Sometimes I even throw objects, but I make sure it is a small object that can’t do much damage – say, a paperback book. If I throw it at a person, which I have done many times, I am just trying to terrorize them, not hurt them. I generally throw it at their head but intentionally miss by a pretty wide margin. I can get pretty nuts. I have grabbed dinner tables where multiple people were all eating and turned them upside down and all sorts of crazy stuff. But that was more as a young man. I haven’t done that sort of thing in some time.
Anyway what I am saying is that in my social class of White men, you are really not supposed to blow up or even get overtly angry very much if at all. You are supposed to be cool, calm and collected all the time. That’s the ultimate in masculinity. A man who loses it is very looked down on as someone who can’t control himself and his behavior is even seen as feminine.
And in my crowd, most of the people blowing up around me are females. Females lose it all the time in the Modern West. It used to be shameful for a woman to throw a temper tantrum (“acting like a low class whore”); now apparently due to feminism, it’s empowering or something. Idiotic.