Q.(1) How do you know Santa has to be a man?
Ans. No woman is going to wear the same outfit year after year.
Q.(2) Why is Christmas just like a day at the office ?
Ans. You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
Q.(3) What do monkeys sing at Christmas ?
Ans. Jungle Bells, Jungle bells.. !
Q.(4) What do you give a train driver for Christmas ?
Ans. Platform shoes !
Q.(5) What did the big candle say to the little candle ?
Ans. I’m going out tonight !
Q.(6) What is the best thing to put into a Christmas cake ?
Ans. Your teeth !
Q.(7) What did Adam say on the day before Christmas ?
Ans. It’s Christmas, Eve !
Q.(8) What do you have in December that you don’t have in any other month ?
Ans. The letter “D” !
Q.(9) Why did Robin Hood steal from the rich ?
Ans. Because the poor didn’t have any !
Q.(10) What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ans. Ice caps!
Q.(11) How can a snowman lose weight?
Ans. He waits until it gets warmer!
Q.(12) What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Ans. Snowflakes.
Q.(13) What goes red white red white red white?
Ans. Father Christmas rolling down a hill!
Q.(14) What do you call a man who claps at Christmas ?
Ans. Santapplause!
Q.(15) What is Father Christmas’ wife called ?
Ans. Mary Christmas!
Q.(16) What do you call Santa Claus when he doesn’t move?
Ans. Santa Pause!
Q.(17) How many presents can Santa fit into an empty sack?
Ans. Only one – after then it is not empty any more.
Q.(18) What king is the children’s favorite at Christmas time?
Ans. A stocking!
Q.(19) What kind of bird can write?
Ans. A pen-guin!
Q.(20) Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
Ans. So he can ho-ho-ho.
http://www.happywink.org/christmas-day/christmas-jokes.html