Retirement homes have become a competitive business, each vying to offer its residents something that the others haven’t thought of yet. By and large, all those in the upscale market provide similar facilities, each one keeping an eye on the competition and trying to think of some way to attract residents. Apartment sizes are always near the top of the list of desirable qualities. When the first top-class retirement home opened in our town the apartments were 350 to 400 square feet in area. By time we arrived at the sales office some 15 years later the competition to have us as residents was raging hot and they suggested joining two apartments together and making one large one, so ours is a very comfortable 650 square feet.
So now when one is shopping around for a place to spend your golden years, as they are inappropriately named, there is no need to be shy. Shoot for the sky! Of course if you are a well-known celebrity around town, the retirement home managers will lean a little further backwards to have you on their residents’ list and the higher up the superstar ratings you are, the larger the apartment and all its mod-cons are likely to be.
Let’s say that you carry a unique title, something like Your Eminence or Your Holiness and you are thinking of taking early retirement, I’m sure you could strike a great deal with a retirement home; let’s go wild and think about an entire floor, with accommodation for secretaries, servants and other household staff. I would say that the management at this particular home would not be averse to adding a floor tailor-designed to your particular requirements, Holiness. The other attractions here would be the great climate and the option of living in the Holy Land. Unlike many of our new immigrants, you already speak the language. It’s worth a thought…