Chinese Lychee

I bought a 2-lb bag of these Chinese lychee off a fruit vendor on the street. When I’d asked him what they were, he responded that they were lychee nuts. I told him that they look nothing like the lychee that I’ve eaten before, but he said “Chinese lychee!” New York charm at its finest.

After eating a bunch of these, I finally decided to Google them, and they’re tough to find, even online. It’s clear why they’re less popular – they’re not nearly as sweet and juicy as their red counterparts. But the kids enjoyed peeling them and ate a few, so all in all, a reasonable success. But if I’m buying lychee again, it won’t be these ones.

ME: What are these called?

LAUREN: Lychee nuts!

ME: What do they look like?

LAUREN: They kind of look like a tiny basketball.

ME: Sam, what do you think?

SAM: It looks like a stretchy thing.

LAUREN: A stretchy ball?

LAUREN: Oh, my God, is there a nut in it?

ME: Yes, but you’re not allergic.

LAUREN: Can I lick it?

(Licking)

LAUREN: Ew, I don’t like it.

EMMA: I like it!

ME: They’re kind of similar to the guineps.

LAUREN: Yeah, they are.

LAUREN: This tastes like an olive a little.

SAM: Actually when I lick it….

EMMA: (Crying)

ME: What happened? Did you bite it?

EMMA: (crying) Yeaaaaah.

ME: Did you hurt your tooth?

EMMA: (crying) Yeaaaaah.

ME: Sam, what were you saying?

SAM: It tastes like, um, goo.

ME: Here you go Emma, there’s no seed in it so you can eat the whole thing.

EMMA: I want more.

ME: You like it?

EMMA: Yes. I want moooooorrrrre.

SAM: Did you know that I ate the whole thing of this? And I didn’t eat the nut.

ME: Did you like it?

SAM: Um, the lychee tasted like this (pointing to the discarded lychee skin)

ME: OK, thank you Sam, that was helpful. At least you liked it buddy.