China’s mainland stock market crashed last night, taking world stock markets down with it today.
Three Things You Should Have Invested In Instead Of Chinese Stocks
1. Action figures from the latest Star Wars movie. If the investment doesn’t pay off the tiny costumes makes great hamster clothing.
2. Mortgages on houses of people who mortgaged the house to buy Beanie Babies in the 1990s. Congratulations you own their houses since they’re bad at finances!
3. Official “Trunp Won The Presidency” tees. When it doesn’t happen we wager the egotistical Trunp will destroy as many as possible quickly resulting in a very limited edition gag gift.