On the Road – Jack Kerouac
What happens?
Two guys travel around America. The end.
Reason for bleaklisting?
It should have been called, Are We There Yet?
What should have happened?
Val Head’o’Lice is having a torrid time what with Breaking Bad ending the year before and being stuck on 32 down on this week’s crossword. Val is visited by his old friend Lean Likes-a-Farty who has driven 300 miles from Balloonville, a city where everything is made out of balloons. Lean suggests that he and Val go on a road trip. Val agrees, packs his things and heads out to Lean’s car. He is shocked to see a pile of crap on the drive with a long trail leading to Lean’s car. Lean admits his latest bout of flatulence is to blame. Val insists he’ll stay home, not just because of the excrement but because he has figured out what 32 down is.
Special instruction
Sell to anyone with a driveway or a car, but not both, and rename, Poo on the Road.
Mr B compares the stories
I’m sure Jack Kerouac saw many things on his travels throughout America that inspired him in his writing of the American classic, On the Road, but I doubt some crap on a road or driveway was top of his list. Charlie not only demonstrates his ignorance of a highly acclaimed novel but he also reveals his continuing inability to write a decent story. Kerouac may be turning in his grave in response to Charlie but it will only be with laughter.