Bridget Jones’ Diary – Helen Fielding
What happens?
A woman writes a diary about a year in her single life.
Reason for bleaklisting?
Where’s the thrills? Where’s the excitement? Where’s the Gunfight at the O.K. Corral?
What should have happened?
Jane owns a dairy farm and she’s a bit frigid because of a disastrous date with Farmer Pogo who tends his crops on a pogo stick and even sleeps on it and goes to the toilet on it, which causes all kinds of complications. Across a year, Jane meets numerous suitors including Three-legged Jenkins, Boomerang Bumpy Buttocks, Sexy Mitch, Eric the Woozy Boozy Floozy and Dimple Dumple Pumple Crappy Domple. After numerous awful dates, a close shave with a demonic tractor and a regrettable incident with a frying pan and a cow, Jane marries a businessman named Sandra and lives happily ever after.
Special instruction
Sell in the countryside and rename, Frigid Janes’ Dairy Farm.
Mr B compares the stories
Oh my! Helen Fielding’s classic novel is simply beyond recognition in Charlie’s alternative take. Bridget Jones does get up to all kinds of adventures, all faithfully recorded in her diary and there is romance along the way but certainly not on a dairy farm or involving people known as Sexy Mitch.
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