“Bittersweet is the idea that in all things there is both something broken and something beautiful, that there is a moment of lightness on even the darkest of nights, a shadow of hope in every heartbreak, and that rejoicing is no less rich even when it contains a splinter of sadness.” – Shauna Niequist, Bittersweet
This is our first Christmas with Everett, and our first Christmas without Brett’s dad. I feel whole and broken; happy and sad. I feel responsible for everything this month—for the tree and the lights and the gifts and the cookies and the parties and most of all, for the warmth of our home. I simultaneously feel the weight of Brett’s sorrow, and the lightness of Everett’s joy.
This Christmas is bittersweet, and I don’t know how to make it more sweet than bitter, or if it’s even okay to want that in the first place. Part of Christmas is about being together, and there is someone missing from our together.
If you lost someone this year, or any year, and Christmas is difficult, know that I’m praying for you today.