A wit beyond measure is a man’s greatest treasure, Dumbledore said. We agree with him. There is nothing more appealing in people than a capacity to deliver wit and the ability to appreciate wit. Which is why we thought we should probably bring together some of the wittiest captions for you to use on your social media to let your profile shine.
Best Witty Instagram Captions
Do you know what is the best way to show off the amazing power of your brain? Show your wit, that is it. People love it when there is plenty of humor around. There is just something very satisfying about such displays of intellect which makes it relatable to people, and it might even make their day! So we have made for you the perfect list of witty Instagram captions for you to use in this new year of 2020 to spread such cheer around on your social media!
- Women drivers rev my engine.
- Keep smiling because life is a beautiful thing. Besides, most people find smiling suspicious.
- Beauty is power, a smile is its sword, and high heels can be used as a weapon.
- It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes happiness. Unless you’re talking about days off work, and then, the more you have, the happier you are.
- If only Cher had really discovered how to turn back time…
- I myself never feel that I’m sexy. If people call me cute, I am concerned for their well-being.
- It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.- Leonardo da Vinci
- You know why I trust foodies? Because life is so bland without them!
- Chilling like a gangster. Gangsters wear pajamas too, right?
- This picture is my autobiography.
- Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced.
- I must destroy you with hugs and kisses.
- Stop looking for happiness in the same place you just lost it.
- I woke up like this. Then I took a shower, did my hair and make-up, walked around the house to find perfect lighting, and took this picture.
- Don’t take life too seriously. Nobody gets out alive.
- The most important thing is to enjoy your life – to be happy – that’s all that matters. Oh, and good hair days.
- Take every chance you get in life, because some things only happen once. On the other hand, some things happen over and over again until you finally tell them to stop, change your phone number, and move to another town.
- I love those who can smile in trouble, who can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection. ‘Tis the business of little minds to shrink, but they whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves their conduct, will pursue their principles unto death.- Thomas Paine
- Sometimes, all you attract is fuzz and pet hair.
- I used to have class… then I graduated.
Read – Savage Instagram Captions For Ex & Haters
Funny Instagram Captions For Mom And Daughter
A mother is a daughter’s best friend. Nobody can deny that. Growing up, a mother is not just the daughter’s caregiver, but is also the source of joy and a spot of brightness in her dull day. There are very few relationships that are similar to the love between a mother and daughter. In honor of such a relationship, we have selected a special list of captions to capture what this relationship means to you.
- If at first you don’t succeed, try doing it the way mom told you in the beginning.
- Mother (n): cheap therapist and best friend.
- I am my mother’s daughter.
- Definitely one of my favorite parents.
- A mom’s hug lasts long after she lets go.
- A mother’s treasure is her daughter.
- She’s a reflection of me. So you know she’s awesome.
- A mother’s treasure is her daughter.
- Mom—my best, first and forever friend.
- You’re the mom everyone wishes they had.
- Having a weird mom builds character.
- Dear mom, I get it now.
- I told my mom she was invading my personal space and she said I came out of her personal space.
- Generational twinning.
- Mother and daughter may part in distance, but never in heart.
- Like mother, like daughter.
- Sometimes a girl just needs her mom.
- Blessed to be her daughter.
- Life doesn’t come with a manual, it comes with a mom.
- What the daughter does, the mother did.
- Everything I am, you helped me to be.
- Good daughters make good mothers.
- Home is where your mom is.
Read – Baddie Instagram Captions for Badass Pictures
Witty Instagram Captions For Friends
It is said that the closest friends bring out the best in you. We agree. This fact is very easy to observe as well. You are generally brighter, louder, smarter when you are with the close few friends because it just feels like a fun competition you are in, to have the smartest retort when arguing, to be funnier than the rest, to be heard the best. It goes without saying that this applies to when you are trying to be witty as well. Lots of wit with your friends, the innuendos, the punchlines. Show the world your range of wit on your social media by using our witty captions made especially with your friendship in mind and let the world have a laugh!
- Whatever you do in life, make sure it makes you happy… or at least looks good on Instagram.
- What do you think of the view?
- You think this is a game?
- Friday, my second favorite F word.
- When I feel a little down, I put on my favorite high heels and dance. Or clean the house. #priorities
- I liked memes before they were on Instagram.
- You’re doing it wrong. We’re all doing it wrong. Wait… what were we doing?
- I wasn’t lucky, I deserved it.
- I’ll never try to fit in. I was born to STAND OUT!
- You play Call of Duty? That’s cute.
- Weekend, please don’t leave me.
- The question isn’t can you, it’s will you remember you were supposed to?
- Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re not strong enough. Anyone can be strong when you throw a chainsaw into the mix.
- Be who and what you want, period.
- Love can be unselfish, in the sense of being benevolent and generous, without being selfless. Just ask your boyfriend to run to the store for you, and you’ll see what I mean.
- That moment when you realize your childhood is over.
- Stay strong, the weekend is coming!
- Don’t be like the rest of them, darling. And also don’t be like me… that’s my job.
Read – Short Instagram Caption for Friends (Funny, Cute, Taunts)
Witty Instagram Captions For Selfies
Selfies are pictures that speak about you. So much thought goes into clicking the perfect picture, to overcome issues with the lighting, the angles…it is a work of art! Wit is also very similar. There is work in creating the perfectly witty line which makes it too an art. Show off both these arts the next time you upload on your Instagram with the help of our witty captions. Select one that best resonates with your vibe and listen to people applaud!
- If a dentist makes their money from unhealthy teeth, why would I trust a product 4/5 of them recommend?
- I think you’ve got a deficiency of Vitamin Me!
- So, you’re on Instagram? You must be an amazing photographer.
- A blind man walks into a bar… And a chair… and a table…
- Yea, dating is cool but have you ever had stuffed crust pizza?
- If I was funny, I would have written a really good Instagram caption.
- Weekend, please don’t leave me!
- I don’t always surf the internet, but when I do, eyebrows!
- I had fun once, and now it’s on my permanent record.
- I don’t always do what I ought to, but when I do, I don’t.
- What if I told you, you can eat without posting it on Instagram.
- Say “Beer Can” with a British accent. I just taught you to say “Bacon” with a Jamaican accent.
- I’m not saying it was aliens, but it was aliens!
- Fitness? How about “fitness post into my day when I already have 500 other things I’ve procrastinated on doing?”
- I need a six month holiday, twice a year.
- Need an ark? I Noah guy…
- When Instagram was down, I ran around town shouting “like” at flowers, dogs, and expensive brunches.
- One in a million? So you’re telling me I have a chance…
- Oh you’re a model? What’s your agency, Instagram?
- Give me the chocolate and nobody gets hurt…
- Onions make me sad. A lot of people don’t realize that.
- I didn’t choose the thug life, the thug life chose me.
Witty Instagram Captions For Couples
Did you know that if you have been in a relationship for a long time you start mimicking your partner’s body language? This is true even in the way we think. Is that not awesome? We are pretty sure that this is the case with your sense of humor as well. Hence, we present to you a selected list of captions that you can use on the social media posts featuring your partner. Just choose the one that is the most accurate according to you and let us put the theory to the test!
- You’ve stolen a pizza my heart.
- I don’t want to look back and think, “I could’ve eaten that.”
- If she’s honest, funny, laid back, can hold her liquor, has a dirty mind and an even dirtier vocabulary, eats pizza, and lets you touch her butt… marry her yesterday.
- If you’re lucky enough to find a weirdo, never let them go.
- Can’t keep calm when I’m crazy for you.
- I’m willing to risk the cooties if you are.
- Sometimes the grass will appear greener on the other side because it has been fertilized by bullshit
- Haters gonna hate, and players gonna play.
- Sometimes I look at you and I wonder how I got to be so damn lucky.
- They don’t make me what I am; they just found me like this.
- Most of the time she’s a lady, but every once in a while, a dirty old man with a drinking problem comes out.
- Everything you’ve ever wanted is one step outside your comfort zone.
- It’s okay if you don’t like me. Not everyone has good taste.
- Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re not strong enough.
- I know if I’m haunting you, you must be haunting me.
- It’s funny how when I’m loud, people tell me to be quiet—but when I’m quiet, people ask me what’s wrong.
- If you have eyes, look at me now!
- Despite the contradictory advice circulated in the late ’90s, if you want to be my lover, please do not get with my friends.
- I came. I saw. I made it awkward.
- I tried to be normal once—worst two minutes of my life.
- Sometimes you just have to throw on a crown and remind them who they’re dealing with.
- So, you’re on Instagram? You must be a fantastic photographer.
- Here is my heart, accept it please, because I am so clumsy and I am afraid I just might lose it.
- My life feels like a test I didn’t study for.
- I’m not so sure about an inner child, but I have an inner idiot that surfaces every now and then.
- You were better in my worst nightmares.