Best Skin Lotion Since Rendered Orphan Fat

The Best Skin Lotion EVAH!

This is one of those little posts I do when I find something that makes me giggly. Last time it was Salted Caramel Vodka, so lotion might be a bit of a let down, but if your shins look like an alligator purse in the winter, you might appreciate this. This is not a paid “best skin lotion” advertisement, though I certainly wish it was.

CeraVe is the best skin lotion since rendered orphan fat.

We all like to appear young, and sure, usually I rely on the rendered fat of orphan children, but the witch down the street bought a house way over her head using a “stated income” mortgage, and they finally evicted her.  I did not mind losing the flying monkeys (you think bird poop is bad) but I did miss the youth potion. So yes, clearly the rendered fat of orphan children is technically the best skin lotion, but witches are harder to harder to find. There has been an absolute explosion of orphan children since she left, though, so if you’re in the market for one of those, just let me know. They aren’t as bad as the flying monkeys, but all their “thank you may I have another” blah blah blah.

Anyway, I’ve gotten off track. The point of this post is to let you know CeraVe is the best skin lotion!  Mike and I used to use Lubriderm, which we thought was the best skin lotion (in the reasonably priced arena). Every time I go to the store there is a new one: Lubriderm Intense Skin Lotion, Lubriderm Advanced Formula, Lubriderm Extreme Octopus Spit – they’re out of control. But somehow we ended up with CeraVe and were immediately amazed.

I should add here that we probably found out CeraVe was the best skin lotion because Mike researches things like “the best skin lotion” and “what organs in my body could be failing at any given moment.”  He’ll be bummed if he doesn’t get credit. So, if everyone could just stand and give Mike a little applause… thank you. Please tell him his color looks good, too.

Why is CeraVe the best skin lotion?

• It’s thin, so you don’t end up using a TON of it every time you step out of the shower.
• It makes your skin feel like it has a silky barrier that lasts for like 24 hours. This is what we loved best. I feel like some sort of X-Man with a Silky Protective Barrier Against Evil – which would of course be a sucky X-Man power, but still.
• Because you’re rockin’ the silk barrier, your skin heals and no more alligator skin.

I buy it from Amazon, because I psychotically avoid shopping: CeraVe Moisturizing Lotion, 12-Ounce Bottle

And that’s it! CeraVe is the best skin lotion EVAH!

Best Skin Lotion Side Note:

While I was looking for a photo of the CeraVe bottle I bumped into another review that featured this photo. Yeah…I’m not touching this.