There are so many advantages to doing chores for children: they learn responsibility, learn new skills (like how to properly load a dishwasher) and - bonus! - remove some household chores from their parents' plates. The hardest part is figuring out how to get the kids to tie up and make them.
Damon Korb, M.D., member of the American Academy of Pediatrics and author of Raising an organized child, says you need to focus less on the tasks themselves and more on what they can teach our children. In fact, he says that you shouldn't even call them chores. "It seems so expensive," he says. "Helping around the house doesn't have to be a chore. I like to take the concrete approach: "Everyone at home helps each other - that's exactly what we do."
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Housework also helps children practice the skills that, according to Dr. Korb, are essential for becoming organized and independent, such as being consistent; determine the steps necessary to complete a task; give everything a place; plan ahead; and problem solving on the fly. "Another concept that we try to teach our children is that there are things that we need to do in life and the things that we want to to do, "he said." In addition, young children should learn to break projects down into smaller steps. Tasks are an important way to share these lessons. "
Of course, you want to practice different skills at different ages, and the tasks that a toddler can handle are very different from the tasks that can be performed by a teenager or teenager.
For toddlers, the emphasis should be on teaching sequences and order. "When children are small, it would be easier to do the tasks yourself, but their goal is to help children learn new skills," says Dr. Korb. "Toddlers and preschoolers can learn that each task has a beginning, a middle and an end: we take out a toy, play with a toy and put away a toy." Emptying a plate after dinner, putting laundry in the basket and cleaning their play areas are good tasks to flex these new muscles. Also, kids this age often like to clean up, so take advantage of it and let them help you out as best they can and do something like sorting silverware when you empty the dishwasher.
When children reach ages 6 and 7, this is where you can start to instill the importance of helping; Feeding the family pet is a good way to demonstrate this type of responsibility. They can also lend a hand to load and unload the dishwasher, fold and store the laundry and set the table. And then, when they are 8 or 9 years old, they can be even more responsible for themselves. "Children this age are starting to participate in community activities, so it's a great time for children to learn how to run their business," Said Dr. Korb. "Help them manage their football gear or their dance bag. Teach them how to keep their school supplies and backpack in order." Work with them to establish a system where everything has its own designated space. Bonus: the more you keep on top to do it, the less you have to answer the pesky questions "Where's my ...".
"There is an inherent order in preparing meals, so teaching children to cook at this age is also important," adds Dr. Korb. "Many 8 year olds are able to prepare their own breakfast and prepare their lunches for school." It is a good idea to keep what kids need for quick snacks and take-out meals handy and see if they can make food preparation a habit.
By the time they reach 10 or 11 years old, they are ready for bigger tasks - and for the even more important job of keeping track of everything they need to do themselves. "One way to help children become independent is to use a task board," he says. "It serves as both a reminder and a calendar for different tasks. Children this age begin to disdain harassment from their parents, so using a table, if done right, can reduce parents' need to remind children of chores - or at least limit the harassment to "go see your card". "
With a task chart in place, 11 and 12 year olds can start getting firmer time frames for their tasks. "Help your child understand how urgent some tasks are, such as unloading the dishes before dinner so that the dishwasher is ready to be used again, or taking out the trash on Tuesday evening before picking up on Wednesday morning. " This will help them manage their own time as they get closer to high school. The household chores they can take on at this point include vacuuming, mowing the lawn, doing laundry, receiving mail, getting in and out of trash, and gardening work like raking or weeding.
And then we come into adolescence, which has the ability to derail completely. But it's not that teenagers don't want to lend a hand. "Teens can be very helpful when they are motivated," says Dr. Korb. "The problem is that their motivations are often very different from ours. It's a good age to teach your kids about prioritization: things to do must happen before things to do. "So homework comes before screen time, not after.
And then, as they get older, you'll want to make sure their to-do list includes everything they need when they end up living and living alone, like cooking meals, doing laundry, ironing, sewing on buttons, take care of a car and cleaning. "The amount we ask of teens can vary depending on their other commitments," he says. "A student who takes AP classes, speaks and debates, and participates in sports can be busy doing useful activities. Likewise, a student who has an after-school job improves different way. "
Of course, no parent will force their children to navigate through all of their lifelong tasks without any hindsight. But when there is sand in the gears, it is important to stay cool. "It's easy for parents to get frustrated when their kids aren't doing chores because we can really use their help," says Dr. Korb. "Developmentally, kids and teens are ego-centric. They don't understand their parents' point of view. Instead of getting angry, think of a new way to teach the lesson. " For example, you may need to divide the chore into stages for a preschool or school child. If you have a problem with a teenager or teenager, you can meet and talk about what works and what doesn't - then let the teenager participate in the problem-solving process. Not only will you get your teen's buy-in, but you will give them the tools to solve more problems in the future.
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