Being Casual

You would never realize how suddenly being casual will make you involved in so many literal things that they will become an important part of your life. Being casual simply doesn't mean that you don't realize the importance of other things, but it seems you are not attached enough that if won't affect you if you let them go. But I think the one who looks casual is the one who is more emotional.
You take your thoughts to be casual, you ignore your feelings your emotions, you try to look cool in front of other, but deep inside you know that its not you. You are in a race with yourself to find the real you. You try to be apart from others, being attached but not emotionally, a state of being "detached". You tempt to do this and also succeed for a while, but then everything just comes back. You try to fall apart from it, but it keeps on chasing you. The more you run away from it, the more it comes near to you. You try to resist it by your casual nature, but it keeps on coming to you. It tries to control you completely until it consumes you. Your casual nature then rests in a side and let to go the way it is taking you. You just stay awake to see the path you are going to. You still try to resist somewhat, because there is a feeling of insecurity and self-doubt inside you that should you resist or shouldn't you?
You travel along with it and realize that it had somewhat made you channelized, focus, and you finally accept the acquiescence. It will not leave you, which means its meant to stay.
Your casual attitude will be there somewhere dumped in one corner of your heart and now you will be a changed person. Once an idea will find home in your mind, it will not leave it until it will consume it completely.