If you are a fashion blogger, you are likely to be familiar with Independent Fashion Bloggers (IFB). And if you are part of its community, you are likely to receive this type of messages by your fellows :
" Hi there!
I’m XX and I’m still relatively new to the blogging world (or not, editor's note). My blog is about this and that. If you get a chance I would love if you could check it out and feel free to follow if it interests you! Don’t forget to comment if you like what you read
My links are:
http://XX.com
http://www.bloglovin.com/en/blog/XX
http://pinterest.com/XX/
http://twitter.com/XX
It would be a pleasure to check out your blog as well, so don’t hesitate to send me your links!
P.S. – For more updates about my posts and exciting fashion news, hit the like button on my Facebook page (http://facebook.com/XX)
Have a nice day!Love,
XX. "
Each time I am receiving this kind of message my machiavelic alter ego, Miss Criticona *, is always right on the corner. And while Shug is understanding, Miss Criticona is not. Shug thinks that every blogger wants his/her space to be visited, commented and getting popular which is normal when you spend time creating content. As a blogger herself she is aware that blogging is a HUGE time consuming activity. On the other side Miss Criticona thinks that the fact every blogger wants their blog to be noticed is self-centered because what they want is to get the attention of the people on them. On this point me, Shug, agrees with my machiavelic alter ego.
A few weeks ago I read a post written on IFB entitled 10 Quick + Easy Ways to Jump into the Blogging Community. This article was giving advices to bloggers on how to bond with eachother, in other words how to become part of the blogging community. Though I totally agree with everything written, I couldn't help but comment on one fact : bloggers sending mail similar to the one above to their fellows.I am not blaming the bloggers who sent me these kind of mails, but just want to help them out to be part of the blogging community. As much as my fellows I want my blog to be read by more and more people, in brief I am just as self-centered as them. This I admit. BUT I also know that to get people interested in my blog I also have to show interest in theirs. So if you send me a message in the likes of the example I put above, I will visit your blog, this because I am curious, but I will certainly NOT become a reader of you. Why ? Because you didn't show ANY interest in my blog first.
I could have put a picture of Les Giblin, but sincerely after discovering how he really looked like, I thought Machiavelli looked way better and fitted perfectly this post. *
Me, cunning ? I don't think so..ok...I am just a tiny little bit! But read carefully the following excerpt from Les Giblin book, Skill With People, and you will realize that I am not as evil as you thought :
"The first step in increasing your skill in dealing with people (successful human relations) is to properly understand people and their nature.When you have a proper understanding of human nature and people - when you know why people do the things that they do - when you know why and how people will react under certain conditions - then and only then can you become a skillful manager of people.Understanding people and human nature simply involves recognizing people for what they are - not what you think they are nor what you want them to be.What are they?
PEOPLE ARE PRIMARILY INTERESTED IN THEMSELVES, NOT IN YOU!
Putting this same thought another way - the other person is ten thousand times more interested in himself than he is in you.
And vice versa! You are more interested in yourself than you are in any other person in the world."
All this to say : when reaching out to other bloggers, think first would you rather gain a real follower (and friend) by showing your interest towards the person (read : READ THEIR BLOG BEFOREHAND FOR GOD'S SAKE !) OR have someone visiting your blog once and ignored it totally after ?
ps * : it's the nickname my flatmates gave me because they love my sharp tongue.ps** : The reality is that I wanted to brag about my degree in italian literature.