I dazzled the world today with my gripping address to the UN. To prepare, I had smoked a joint of Hawaii-grown Blueberry Yum Yum in the rear of the Beast. I watched Manhattan traffic halted just for me. What a trip! As I stood before the green marble backdrop of the General Assembly I felt the immense power of my role as world pre-eminent leader course through my veins. I saw ISIS as a beetle to be crushed under my feet. I was the embodiment of Colonel Kurtz in Heart of Darkness, sweating metaphors from every pore. " Oh, the bliss...What a towering genius I am! But enough about me.