Barack Obama's Diary: The Putin Ploy

Dear Diary: I truly am a genius. I was wondering earlier today how to get Boehner to at least begin to compromise, when it came to me: imitate Vlad Putin's technique. I waited until Boehner would likely be eating breakfast. I pulled my iPresidentophone from my pocket and called Boehner. "Boehnervitch!" I cried. "Why have you not organized  a proper GOP response to the shutdown and  debt ceiling?  Boehnervitch, you couldn't organize a drunken orgy in a vodka factory." There was a silence at the other end broken only by the sound of cereal being munched. Then Boehner replied:  "Piss off Obama and call me back at a more considerate time...."The line went dead; he must have been frozen with terror and dropped the phone.  Well, I showed Boehner who's boss." I told Valerie Jarrett who had just entered the Oval Office with my instructions for the day. But enough about me.