Barack Obama's Diary: Putin Asks a Favor

Dear Diary: I was enjoying my last mouthful of Froot Loops this morning when the familiar harmonies of the Moscow Steel Foundry Male Voice Choir burst from my iPresidentophone. "Good mornin' Vladimir," I said, for it was he.
"And how can I be of help this wintry morning?"
"Obamavich, I am asking a favor. We wish to deploy one of your new American devices at Sochi, the device  that detects hidden explosives.
"I will have to consult my senior military advisers, Vlad, but it sounds feasible. What's in it for us?
 "The return of Edvard Snowdenovich, Obamavich. That will enhance your approval rating, no?"
"What are you implying ,Vlad? I am never influenced by opinion polls."  I heard a muffled snorting and Putin bade a cheerful goodbye as I punched out Admiral McMullen's private number.