Barack Obama's Diary: Into the Bush with Bush

Dear Diary:  After a stressful week Saturday has been a bright sunny day with low humidity, perfect for golf. I donned a white polo, khaki shorts and flip-flops. The Beast was waiting to take me to the clubhouse at Fort Belvoir. As I travelled, I ran the planned events for next week through my head.  I am flying to Africa on Wednesday, and you can imagine my consternation when I was told that George W. Bush was going to be over there performing good works at the same time as my trip. Aauggh!  Every time I get an opportunity to distract the media from more so-called "scandals", something happens.  My historic speech in Berlin was belittled as "empty mush." I am busily brushing up the Xhosa language that I once learned at the University of Cape Town [no, my transcripts are not available]. Even my photo-op for the Ages, with the sainted Nelson Mandela, is in jeopardy. He's weakening faster than officials admit. With my current run of bad luck, he'll drop off the twig while I'm there and my coverage will be knocked off the front pages worldwide and during NBC's Today show I will be banished to  Natalie Morales's "In other news" segment.  Nobody knows the troubles I've seen.    But enough about me.