Barack Obama's Diary: How I Scared Bad Vlad

Posted on the 25 June 2013 by Hughvw
Dear Diary: Aaaugh! What a day. Vlad Putin is provokin' me from Moscow where he has Edward Snowden in the transit area of Moscow's main airport  but  will not return him. I tried  callin' him. "Vlad?" I said, but all I got was "Barack?"  followed by loud peals of laughter.
"Barack, we've still  got your guy  at the airport, we 'repaired' his four computers and we were considerate enough to back-up his hard drives. Bwaaa-ha-ha-ha!"  
"Vlad," I said, "if you don't send him back I'm going to be really, really cross with you."
"Oh, yeah," he replied, "now I'm  really, really scared. Are you flying over here with Lurch to come get him? Bwwaaah-ha-ha!...Sucker!
That man is so mean. But I still had my upcoming  capitalism killer to comfort me. After lunch with Biden, I announced an all-out war on coal-fired power plants. So far no-one seems to be taking me seriously. But enough about me.