Dear Diary: Today began like many others, with a bowl of Froot Loops and, after about five minutes of chomping, the expected call came presaged by a burst of song from the Red Army choir. "Vlad," I said, for it was he. " You outta Ukraine yet?" "Nyet" came the voice of my nemesis. "In fact, Obamavitch, we're invading right now and we have a missile on its way to the White House. I want you to surrender your miserable, enfeebled country within the next 30 seconds or I will activate the missile's payload and you will meet your maker shortly thereafter. "29...28...27... 26...27... "For God's
Sake ....Stop! I pleaded with Putin " I will give you everything you want, anything... just deactivate that missile. "From the New York highway to the Redwood Forest?" Yes, Mr Pootin, Sir, everything is now yours. ...."
"Bwaaa-a-a-ha!ha! APRIL Fool! It was only that damn Jokin' Joe