Dear Diary: I'm bored, I have to confess. I think Moose is bored, too. [Moose is my secret name for Michelle] I mean how many days can you spend whacking a small ball around the same course, eating a dinner of steak and yam fries and then gathering the family around the TV to watch Jeopardy? I get enough real-life jeopardy from my adversary Vlad Putin. Moose always knows the questions, so I don't even get the occasional pleasure of showing off in front of the kids, asking "Where is Bratislava?" Where is Bratislava, anyway? Even Wheel of Fortune's too similar to my decision-making system in the Oval Office to hold my attention for long.