The hacks of the MSM took the wind out of my discussions with President Xi today. All he would do was whine about the absence of Michelle and complain that a discussion about cyber attacks was pointless, given the presence of the NSA and PRISM on the Internet. He didn't even finish the delicious take-out General Tso's chicken ordered for him from Palm Springs. As soon as I had dispatched the ill-tempered little plick to Palm Springs airport, my buddies Mike Ramos, Bobby Titcomb and Greg Orme, arrived for the serious business of the day: a round of golf on the Annenberg estate's nine-hole course. After that we broke open the brewskis and partied into the night.