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With my oldest starting high school and my middle daughter starting middle school this year it is causing a lot of anxiety around here. More so for my girls. The closer we get to the start of school the more they express their desire to not go.
I know it’s all just their nerves and I’m trying so hard to play it cool here, but let me tell you all, I’m a basket case.
Lets Start With High School
A few weeks ago my oldest daughter had her orientation at the high school. I foolishly thought it was for all of us and when I walked her into school someone said to me, parents aren’t allowed. Ahhh, gotta love the whole we want parents present and then when parents do show up they kick you out.
It was fine though, my daughter had a moment of panic. I assured her I’d be back to pick her up in a few hours and she had plenty of friends there already that she saw as we were walking in. And she was fine. She’s really beginning to slowly assert herself. It’s hard for her I know, but she’s doing it which is great to see.
But when she came home she had received a t-shirt which had her graduating class on it. Seeing class of 2017 on the back of a t-shirt on my baby’s back just makes it all so real. These next four years are going to go by in a flash, much like it seems the last 14 have. She has been getting tours of colleges for the last two years. And she’s very much college bound. Every thing she does now means so much towards getting her into college. And seeing her really plan out her future makes me anxious.
I know she’s scared of a new school, a much bigger school, and all of those Seniors. She doesn’t want to appear to be some clueless freshman. And I’m petrified for her. But again, don’t tell her this. I’m trying so hard to play it cool. Trying to get her what she needs to be successful and comfortable. And boy do I know nothing about what’s cool and needed in high school. But we’re learning everything together.
She starts her first day of high school on Thursday. And 2:30 or so won’t get here soon enough for her to tell me (I hope) how it all went.
Middle School Bound Child
I’m in a unique position with my middle daughter this year. Usually I go through all of the firsts with her big sister, but because we chose to put her in a magnet school this year this is all completely new. This has also been harder than she ever really lets on to me. My middle daughter doesn’t always tell you how she’s feeling. One thing I know for sure is when she’s quit, she’s scared. And she has been very quiet.
She starts a day earlier than everyone else, on Wednesday. It’s a long day too. I have no idea what to expect with this though because I have no one to ask. All I know is I have to keep myself busy from about 6 a.m. on Wednesday until about 4 p.m. on Wednesday when she finally gets home. Because otherwise I’m going to be worried sick about her.
This is the most amazing opportunity she has ever had though. I’m hoping my expectations of things aren’t too high. I really do think this is going to be great though. And yet that doesn’t quench my anxieties or those of my daughter’s.
And We Can’t Forget About My Son
So then there is my son. He’s going to have a 2nd go at Kindergarten this year. Perhaps you remember that I was excited about that a few months ago. You know, sometimes the reality of things can really throw you for a loop though. Don’t get me wrong, my son needed that extra year to mature. Things began to click with him about how Kindergarten works around May of last school year.
But, as we have gone through the summer we have run into his school friends a few times who weren’t aware that he was staying back. There have been those awkward moments of having to say we’re trying Kindergarten for a 2nd time. Or my son told one of his friends who his teacher was and the child just looked at him puzzled and ran off to his mom.
So the reality of him starting school in the same school with so many of his friends, but none of them in his class and all of them a whole grade level ahead of him is making me anxious. I know deep down this is what’s best for him. I know that of all the times socially to do this, this is the best. His friends aren’t going to think he’s slow or anything. They’ll just accept it and go on with their lives, but what if they don’t? What if he gets picked on?
And I know, if someone picks on him for repeating a grade, then that reflects more on him than on my own son. But will he understand that? I’ll have to make him. I also have to keep reminding myself that this is his chance to shine. He’s the kid who has been through all of this already in that class, he knows where everything is and he knows what’s expected of him so he gets to be a role model and someone for the other kids to look up to. And this is exactly what the child with two older sisters who always get to do everything first and who boss him around constantly needs.
He doesn’t really want to go back to school. Honestly, that concerns me too. But at the same time he could just be thinking how exhausting it is at school. It probably has little to do with him disliking school and learning and more to do with having to sit still and listen. Perhaps he’s feeling a little left behind too. He’s a pretty go with the flow cool kid though. He’ll probably walk into that school on Thursday and have a million kids saying hi to him and he’ll just nod and say, “What’s up?” or some equally cool dude thing, but still I worry. I guess I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t worry.
I don’t even want to think about the bus in all of this. Oh the troubles we had last year, I’m only hoping those do not repeat themselves.
So we are all just in the nervous anticipation phase of school beginning.
School supplies have been bought. New clothes are bought. Hair has been cut. Backpacks are being packed with new items. We have one more orientation to get through before school starts this week. And I’m hopeful that by 2:30 Thursday afternoon I’m breathing a deep sigh of relief and up to my eyeballs in school forms, which by the way I’m considering having a stamp made for those.
But for now I am just so nervous and anxious for my children. It’s hard when you can’t control everything.
Does back to school time make you anxious too?