Baby Diaries: Twilight Zone
Almost a month later, I am trying to come to terms with my new surrounding and that too without my friend Cordzilla. It seems he was lost in the transition however I have fortunately found a new source of nutrition. Still, everything else seems somewhat bizarre with you people here.
For instance, when I’m knocked out, you lot put me in a straightjacket and when I wake up crying you moan about the crying? I’m in a straightjacket people! Where’s the logic here? I don’t care how comfortable that baby in the picture looks, that shit is some straight up prison gear!
So to calm me down, you feed me and I ain’t gonna lie, I like to get high on my milk supply! I mean that’s some pure, uncut product and I’m latched on to it good and proper. With each sip I feel a womb like comfort and float away in to another dimension only to wake up half naked over a sink with a wet finger up my ass! Seriously, what the bloody? The only thing I have to protect myself with is my water canon and with each attempt, my aim’s getting better. In fact, I nailed the big fella’ cleanly once but he still keeps coming back! Time to lock and load!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!