A&W Paying Five Bucks To Some People To Put Ads In Their Beards (Offer Apparently Does Not Apply To Abraham Lincoln, Who Ironically Appears On Five Dollar Bills)

By Nottheworstnews @NotTheWorstNews

Business Insider reports that A&W is putting mini-advertisements in an unconventional location. For $5 a day, men can be paid to walk around with an advertisement in their beards! And that sounds like enough money to get something to eat at A&W (which you should make sure does not get stuck in your beard, because nobody is paying you to have Grandpa Burger bits stuck in your beard.)

3 More Things We’d Like To See Advertised In Someone’s Beard

1. Wizard-training schools. Who wouldn’t trust someone advertising wizardry on their beard? However, we’d expect more neon and dry ice in an ad on a Wizard’s beard, and less cardboard. Business cards would definitely not be a convincing form of advertising wizardry.

2. “If you lived here, you would be home right now.” (Only applies to insects commuting near the beard in rush hour traffic.)

3. Ads for cheap razors with a slogan, the “fifth best a man can get without paying $20 for one cartridge.”