Lots of physical contact!
Before I start this series on Attachment Parenting, I would like to make a small disclaimer. Some of my views might be a bit on the strong side. This is not meant to be demeaning to others who chose not to parent the same way that I do. I try not to judge other people's parenting styles. Everyone's situation is completely different and I respect that. You will see that theme recurring throughout my explanation of Attachment Parenting. I am hoping that by explaining this parenting style I can:A.) Show people where I am coming from on the parenting front.
B.) Help parents see that they can trust themselves and parent in a way that makes them and their children feel good.
C.) Offer some options for people who might be struggling in specific areas of parenting (aren't we all?).
Take what you can use and above all, enjoy!
When I first got pregnant with Baby J, I had specific ideas of what the baby/parent relationship should look like. It was a very traditional way of looking at things but as the pregnancy went on, I got more attached to my growing baby and I knew that I didn't want to chose traditional parenting methods. I remember coming across Dr. Sears explanation of Attachment Parenting and I was thrilled! I printed out all of the information and patiently waited until Daddy J got home so we could discuss if this was the path for us. We decided that it was, and we have never looked back!
Attachment parenting is not a new concept. It has deep roots in ancient cultures and is still practiced in much of the world today. It wasn't until fairy recently in Western society that the parenting paradigm shifted and babies were taught to be more independent at an earlier age.
OK, so really...what is it?
I would like to start with a quote from Attachment Parenting International in their article "What is API All About?" regarding what Attachment Parenting is:
"The essence of Attachment Parenting is about forming and nurturing strong connections between parents and their children. Attachment Parenting challenges us as parents to treat our children with kindness, respect and dignity, and to model in our interactions with them the way we'd like them to interact with others."
The bottom line is you spend a lot of time with your child. The baby learns how to model healthy relationships as well as foster a special trust in their caregiver. They learn how to be more empathetic as well as engaged in their world at a high level.
The caregiver becomes an expert in their baby's communication style and learns what each type of cry means as well as how to respond appropriately. As a very young baby, cries will be met with more urgency than an older baby's.
So what is the benefit?
The benefits of this type of parenting are numerous:
1.) Mother infant bond is increased
2.) Babies learn how to communicate effectively
3.) Mother and baby's sensitivity to each other's moods increase
4.) Parents can trust their intuition and apply that to each situation
5.) Baby is more engaged because it is being attended to more often
These are just a few of the benefits.
In my next seven posts, I will be delving into the specifics of Attachment Parenting. I will be exploring Dr. Sears' "Seven Baby B's of Attachment Parenting" that he discusses in "The Baby Book", and how they work themselves out in our household. You might also hear from Daddy J if you are lucky! (Hint, hint, hubby.)
The "Seven Baby B's of Attachment Parenting" are:
1.) Birth Bonding
2.) Belief in Your Baby's Cries
3.) Breastfeed
4.) Babywearing
5.) Bedding Close to Baby
6.) Balance and Boundaries
7.) Beware of Baby Trainers
I know this might sound far out but please stick with me. There are so many things that I want to share with you! I'm going to be completely honest about how this parenting style works for us. Sometimes it doesn't work out so great. I don't use this parenting style as an all or nothing road map. Instead I use it to inspire my already capable brain to come up with what works best for our family.