I'm not sure if I'm making too much of a generalisation with my title, but it is what I've observed as a parent who's lived in Malaysia and Australia. Asian parents tend to lean towards being too protective of their children.
Little Miss NAPB and I were at the playground a few days ago. While she was going about her own swinging on the monkey bars, an Asian man came to me and asked if we were Japanese. I told him we were from Malaysia, to which he replied, "Oh, we're from Malaysia too." We continued chatting for awhile and this is what I noticed.
Every five seconds (okay, I'm exaggerating but seriously it really felt like it) he would be telling his wife to pay attention to their fifteen month old daughter because the wife was trying to be in the conversation. He'd be saying things like, "Be careful of the sand,""Clean her hands before she goes on the slide again,""Don't let her touch the sand,""Hold her chest when she goes down the slide,""Dirty dirty, baby no no bad bad don't touch,""Carry her up the stairs," etc.
Erm, where do I even start?
I'm no expert in parenting, but even as an adult I got a little annoyed with the overprotectiveness. He was even complaining about the playground being too sandy! To think that I actually appreciate the playground being on sandy grounds, at least the impact of any fall is greatly minimised compared to a solid ground. And honestly, children just really NEED to fall down every once in awhile, so that they will learn how to get back up. They will never learn if they've never failed.
There was an article not so long ago by Andrea Bonior, about how we should just Let Kids Have Their Sticks, and I absolutely agree with her. Children should be taught to embrace nature and take certain risks when it comes to playing on the playground. Modernisation has actually hinder this simple thing call Outdoor Play and made nature into something children should fear. We're lucky that in Australia, outdoor is a big part of every children's lives and all children are encouraged to spend outdoor time everyday, playing at parks, by the beach, etc.
The role of risk in playing and learning is important. When given a chance to explore the world adventurously (with you lurking somewhere behind just in case their fall is too severe), children learn to assess their own ability, both consciously and unconsciously, to achieve their goals - be it climbing up a tree, jumping on the trampoline, balancing themselves on the balance beam, etc. Joan Almon, the co-founder of Alliance for Childhood writes a brilliant article on the subject of The Role of Risk in Play and Learning.
In my attempt to get away from my protective Asian streak, I learned to observe what other parents do and make mental notes to reflect on them. It's also one of the reasons why I'm leaned towards Montessori and Waldorf. It's a very un-Asian-thing to do because these two systems embrace the notion of free play and learning through their own pace, where the children lead their own way during play time and study time. Children are encouraged to explore the world as a young adult (Montessori) and as a imaginative human being (Waldorf). Unlike typical traditional schooling where children are expected to follow the rules and explore only within certain boundaries.
It's a pity that Asian parents are so prone to over protecting their children in many aspects, not just play. Apparently I'm not the only one who thinks so. Authors Ruth Chao and Vivian Tseng, who co-wrote the book "Asian Parents", actually wrote a whole book about how overprotecting Asian parents are responsible for raising indecisive adults that are unable to deal with the basic stresses in life; a study also shows that 47% of Hong Kong students cannot swim, and it's because some parents think swimming is too dangerous an activity for their children to participate in.
I, too, experienced the overprotectiveness streak of my own parents when I was little. I remembered how I was taken off gymnastic classes the very next day after I hit my leg against the balance beam and got a huge bruise from it. However, I'm lucky in the sense that something must have "clicked" in my parents' brains because upon me turning seventeen, I was sent away to Australia alone (I rented a room with a home-stay family) to further my studies. I remembered being lost because for the past seventeen years of my life, I lived a protected and pre-planned life. Out of the blue, I had to figure out how to do everything on my own (home stay parents are only there to take care of your meals and accommodation) - how to buy a car, how to enrol into my courses, how to take the bus (I've never taken a bus in Malaysia), etc. It was emotionally overwhelming but I'm glad my parents did what they did, although I wished they could have started this "independence" thing before sending me cold turkey into the "wilderness" and assuming that I'd survive.
Admittedly, it's natural for all parents to be somewhat protective of their children. I am protective of my little girl, but I've learned from my own experience that I must know when to let go and let her explore the world on her own with minimal parental intervention. I'd like to think I'm heading the right direction in terms of play. She gets to climb up the slide, climb up ladders, explore the sand pit however she likes, find her own way through the pebble-filled beach, and swing on monkey bars. I hope I'm also doing the right thing by enrolling her to an alternative schooling system, where she will have more flexibility in her educational development. Very un-Asian-like, I know. But I guess, only time will tell if I will end succumbing to my overprotective Asian trait. Hopefully not. ;)