It can be said that quite often, fashion-oriented people are often associated with the idea of having a lot of self-interest. Many times, this self-interest or self-worth are described through a negative lens, as if placing importance on who you are and showing interest in your emotions and physical presence in the world is a bad thing. Surely, there are negative extremes: people who are narcissistic and shallow do exist, but why should one jump right to the extreme?
Being self-conscious is based on asking yourself questions. These questions can range from the more superficial: "do I prefer green over purple" to mid-level harsh questions such as "why do I prefer this piece this over that" to downright hardball ponderings: "who am I?"
At times, the origin of our asking of questions lies in insecurity. While insecurity is a dreaded socio-psychological aspect of life, it is in fact a rather positive part of one's personality. Being insecure about something means that you believe, even if not consciously, that you can be better, that you have the potential and that you can do whatever it is you are trying to do. For example, if you are insecure about public speaking, you probably feel that way because you know you could do better: you have it in you and with some practice, you will get better. Many people feel insecure about their abilities to talk in public, about the way they write or do things and even about the way they look. However, you won't find many average Joes being insecure about their ballet abilities. That is because unless you have these ambitions and know you can do them, you won't really care.
Thus, humbly recognizing your insecurities and filling them out by asking questions is a way to constantly improve yourself. It is a way to compare yourself not so much to others, but to yourself and better said, to who you were last year. Comparing yourself to others is also important, especially for men, who have a need to know where they stand in the hierarchy. But again, comparing yourself to who you were and knowing where you stand in your circle or hierarchy can be a positive thing which you can use to better yourself. A person who has a chronic tendency towards self-consciousness may be introverted or shy. Or maybe they are just a modest human being. But then again, the problem with deep waters...
Our bare presence makes us owe ourselves to better ourselves. This is not an easy task, but it is an important one. Asking questions about your nature is a crucial part of it, but the exact opposite is what makes the process complete. Simply letting go and seeing who you are will give you more answers than you could possibly think of. See what you want to do and say. As British philosopher Allan Watts said, "let go and see who you are."
Overrationalizing everything will get you stuck in an outline of who you think you want to be or who you think (or who others think) you should be. In this sense, parts of life such as the Internet can be helpful. In an anonymous forum, where you can do and be whoever you want to be - who are you? Who do you engage with, who do you consider your peers, what do you stand for, what do you discuss, what do you do? Often, the mask is the true face of the person. This should not mean that there should be no differentiation between one's personal and private life, but discovering who you really are will help you strike a balance, understand the different facets of your personality and help you ask the needed questions in order to connect the two and make sure that you always feel bonded to yourself - it's all about meeting your inner self with your outer self into a cohesive and coherent view over your own person.
Abstractions may come in handy when establishing a frame for thought, but many people find themselves in the dilemma that they don't really know how to better themselves. The solution (or one solution at least) is to practice the virtues you can see. As Marcus Aurelius said in his book, "Meditations", "practice the virtues you can show: honesty, gravity, endurance, austerity, resignation, abstinence, patience, sincerity, moderation, seriousness, high-mindedness. Don't you see how much you have to offer -beyond excuses like "can't"?"
When conflicted, you simply have to grab the bull by the horns and play your role in your life. When in doubt, think of what an archetype you look up to, a model or just your idea of your best self would do. The trap can be to relate to a uni-dimensional idea of who you are or should be, which is why you should always keep asking questions and being flexible in mind.
In the end, a question that can put gears into motion is the one about motivation. Why do the things you do? The answers are multiple: because of religious beliefs, because of the good you want to bring in the world, etc. Simply being a human being is a reason that seems to comprise them all. But how to define a person? Maybe cinema can be of help to answer this question, if we think about the character Clara Varner (played by Joanne Woodward) from "The Long, Hot Summer", from 1958 when she said:
"I am a human being. Do you know what that means? It means I set a price on myself: a high, high price. You may be surprised to know it, but I've got quite a lot to give. I've got things I've been saving up my whole life. Things like love and understanding and-and jokes and good times and good cooking. I'm prepared to be the Queen of Sheba for some lucky man, or at the very least the best wife that any man could hope for. Now, that's my human history and it's not going to be bought and sold and it's certainly not gonna be given away to any passin' stranger."
Fraquoh and Franchomme
P.S. We want to hear from you! What is your relation with self-awareness? Do you think fashion can play a role in self-knowledge? How does it do this in your life? Share your feedback, questions or thoughts in the comments below! For more articles on style, fashion tips and cultural insights, you can subscribe to Attire Club via e-mail or follow us on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram!