Apparently I Am Emotionally Unavailable

Posted on the 03 April 2015 by Calvinthedog

Here.

This article is telling all women that if your man checks yes on even one of these, you need to ditch him right away. I think I got 4 for 7. So really I suppose (All? Some?) women need to ditch me or avoid me right away.

1. He’s Already in a Relationship with Someone Else. I am single sometimes, but there is usually a woman or two, or three, or whatever, floating around somewhere in the wilds of my life. I am in some sort of a relationship most but not all of the time. Then again I am always collecting new ones, so hey. But yeah, you hook up with me, and chances are I am not alone.

2. He’s Not Ready for a Relationship. Ready for a relationship? Sure. I always am. Ready to settle down? Don’t think so.

This was a hard one to answer.

I do like serious relationships as opposed to just sex. For one thing, the sex is so much better when you and the woman are wildly in love with each other. Love makes sex better or even possible for women. Plus it makes them horny as all get out. Want to turn a woman into a wild, raving, nympho sex maniac ready, available and panting at all hours? Easy. Just get her to fall in love with you!

Men don’t need to be in love to have sex, but sex in a wild love affair is better than casual sex, FWB’s, hookups, or whatever. It’s just a lot more fun. Hard to explain.

3. He’s Self-Absorbed.

Yep. My fatal flaw. A common complaint is that I lack empathy or don’t care, but I do not believe that is on the mark. Instead, I am simply solipsistic. I am all wrapped up in myself all the time. So, yeah, other people come second. Sorry about that!

4. He’s a Conflict-Avoider.

Yep, I hate conflict.

Women love conflict. They live for it. They like it. They like to fight. They like to be fighters. Women take pride in describing themselves as moody, mercurial, hot-tempered human hurricanes. Women actually brag about this sort of thing. They are quite proud to be “fiery,” or “passionate” or whatever other euphemism they can come up with for being nuts. For women, fighting is fun. They get off on it. To a woman, a real relationship means fights. If there’s no fighting, it’s not a serious relationship.

Of course, most of us men think this is nonsense, and the fact that women think this way proves they are crazy. Which is probably the most common male complaint about women: women are crazy, nuts, psycho, loony, wacko, etc. All of that is a reaction to the emotionally of women.

In Man World, a man who is as emotional as the average woman is a flake, a nut, a kook, an idiot. And there is also a suggestion that he is not so much of a man. Bottom line is we are disgusted by the fact that he just can’t seem to control himself.

So to men, women are borderline if not de facto out of control flakes and kooks a good part of the time. This doesn’t mean that the male judgment of women is factual. It only means that from the point of view of men, this is how women seem: nuts.

Now personally, I am a great big fat pussy. I never want to fight about much of anything. Nothing is worth fighting over.

Now if you attack me, that’s a whole new ballgame. Now I’m going to have to kill you. See how fast that conflict avoidance went away?

I hate fighting, and I would love to be in a relationship with a woman with little if any fighting. That’s hardly even possible. But some shy, introverted or nerdy women can come pretty close to this cherished goal.

Anyway, yeah! I avoid conflict! You got a problem with that?

5. He’s Indecisive.

I suppose. See, I even hedged on the answer.

Mostly I just suffer from inertia.

If he isn’t ready to bring all of himself to something as simple as his career, his workout routine, or anything else that he claims is important to him, what makes you think he’ll be committed to a relationship with you?

Exactly. I don’t bring 100% of myself to much of anything. Why the Hell should I? No matter what I am doing, there is always a part of me that is somewhere else.

6. He Ignores His Own Needs.

Sometimes men will go into caretaking mode and try to take care of everyone else’s needs around them. Although this may seem charming at first, it often comes at the expense of not getting his own needs met.

In the end it’s hard to tell where he really stands. He’s so disassociated from himself that he’s barely “there” at all. And if he isn’t even there, how can he be emotionally available for you?

I don’t get this one. I do not caretake for much of anyone. I can barely take care of myself. How can I take care of others too? But yes, I do ignore my own needs to some extent. But that’s more due to fear and inertia than anything else.

7. He Has Very Specific Expectations for You.

Of course, it’s good to have standards, but expectations can be limiting. They turn the process of having a relationship from actually enjoying one another to more of a matter of finding someone to play a role in your life, whether that role be “girlfriend” or “wife.”

And when he starts to see you as a role in his life, it’s going to be difficult to connect with you as a person. Instead it’s all going to be about how well you fit the role. That isn’t the kind of relationship that I imagine you want for yourself.

I do not think this one applies. My only expectations would be things like expecting her to want to fuck all the time (most women already want to do this anyway, so generally it is not a problem) and wanting to her not be a bitch or quit being such a bitch if she is one.

Quit yelling and screaming.
Quit bitching out.
Shut the Hell up woman.
Don’t be suicidal.
Quit being suicidal.
Quit trying to kill yourself.

Those are the type of expectations I have of women. Pretty reasonable I would think.

Well there you have it, ladies. I am emotionally unavailable. But women are always falling in love with me. There’s no end to it. They won’t leave me alone. If I am so unavailable, why are they always falling for me?

I don’t get it.

Anyway ladies, apparently I am best avoided, and if you can’t avoid me, you need to get rid of me fast. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.