Campanula. The Priory – September 2011.
And if you arrived via a search engine, I can see the words that brought you here. And these search words are often enlightening, amusing, puzzling, alarming, and sometimes an imperative to have you apprehended and locked away without delay.
One of two Priory Lions – June 2011
Sadly, it is only in the past few weeks that I have started to keep a record of some of the more interesting search words and phrases. The title of this post is one such entry but sadly a few real beauts have slipped through my fingers and tumbled out of my memory.
Toadstool on one of my bonsais – November 2011
Some like “foxglove looks bad” or “perhaps I should give up tomatoes” are the wistful murmurs of gardeners the world over. Others have a note of exasperation about them: “can’t mow” (to which my response is, stop whingeing and get on with it) and “aquilegia running aMOK.” I love the partial capitalisation on the latter. Such bad behavior from such a naughty aquILEGIA.
Bee on Ecinops, The Priory – July 2011
A few are rather more bemusing. “Cows wearing earphones,” “cute calf with nose ring,” (whatever floats your boat, I suppose), “chicken staring into the distance” and “how does a plonk plant look” all set me to wondering. Some are more unnerving, such as: “snake ate my dog,” and “insectivorous plants bite me.” And the odd one simply seethes with anger: “the gardener has butchered my beech hedge” – hope they don’t mean me!
Nigella and Sedum, The Old Forge – August 2011
Others are just a little curious (if owly): “standing like an owl” and the similar “sitting somewhere and do like an owl.” I now feel compelled to do both. “Tawny owl flying without logos” – quite right too; owls should not be commercialised. “Angelika asibo that come” – I have spent some time mulling over and am still none the wiser, while “sad rain” and “cows that are alone” have just made me feel melancholic. My retort to “fence moved by creep” is a) I didn’t move it and b) don’t be so rude.
Cycad leaf unfurling (photo turned on its side), the Priory – July 2011
I concluded that “mallard ducks mink” is the only response to being chased by such a scary animal and that “when I takes some ahhhh” was typed by someone as they walked off a cliff. Several visitors who entered either “bums in beds” or “at home with the girls” were, I can’t help but feel, disappointed to end up at a gardening blog (both, if you wondered, were more or less the titles of posts on the AG).Miscanthus transmorrisonensis, The Priory – November 2011
But, so far, my favorite is an existential wail (or at least an argumentative pout), which is so cryptic I can’t help but ponder what was meant by it: “Gandalf, I too am a gardener.” It seems churlish to point out that Gandalf wasn’t actually a gardener – unless perhaps in his spare time. Besides, there is something so irrefutable and heartfelt about those six words that I’m tempted to have them printed onto a tee-shirt. You see Gandalf, I too am a gardener.