Do you like omelettes? Good, so do I. I love them, in fact. Here is a brilliant little guide on how to make the nicest, most orgasmic omelet possible. While you read it, it is highly recommended you listen to this. Got it? Gooood. Oh and before we start: things mighty get a bit steamy if you get what I mean. Or, in other words; awkward. Very awkward. Just saying...
So, let us begin.
Step 1...
The first thing you need to do is decide how many eggs you want. I recommend a 3 egg omelet or at least a 2. Anything less will result in burning and a dry texture.
Slowly remove the eggs from their packaging, being careful not to break them. Good.
Arrange them delicately on the side.Put some oil in the pan to heat up. Oil will make sure it isn't dry and will help to keep things wet. Make sure you spread it out, pouring it all over the pan. Dripping it in, careful not to pour out too much. You don't want it too greasy, do you?Step 2...Now you need to break the eggs. It helps if you have some nice, big, jugs. Do you? If yes, brilliant. If no, grab the next best thing. Preferably only a slightly smaller cup. Hopefully you have a fairly big cup. We don't want anything too small to we? Don't want to spill anything anywhere and make a mess.Get the first egg and break in into the jug/cup. Don't be too gentle or too aggressive. If you are too hard it will break and go everywhere. If you are too soft it will only break a bit, allowing some of the shell to fall into the jug/cup.Be firm and reassuring with your touch. Once broken, put two fingers inside and split it open. As you do this the egg should slide out and slop into the mixing container. Do this with all eggs. Make sure you really get your fingers in there and firmly spread it open. Otherwise shell will break away and get mixed in.Step 3...Mix the eggs together with a fork, unless you are doing anything above a 5 egg omelet in which case you might need something bigger and more experienced. The best way to do this is simply plunge the fork in there, swirling the contents around. It will be wet and sloppy, but just mix it, first clockwise then, after a little bit, anticlockwise. Make sure you do it vigorously and hard. Really put your strength into it. Some of the juice may splash on you, but bare it out. It won't last long if you do it right.Keep going until all of the darker yellow bits have mixed in and the egg is a lighter yellow color.