Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder
By Parentalparody
@parental_parody
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Okay you guys. I have a bazillion excuses for you re: my absence.
Not in any order....
I found a whole lot more Real Housewives of the World style reality TV shows
(that would totally be #1 if this was in order).
I started studying - because who else would you want teaching young impressionable minds?
(Don't worry, I've spent a few years working at The Feral Threesome's school to ensure I could control the swears when I'm on premises - who knew I could?! Anyway, university gahhhhh so much work).
I'm lazy.
I'm still lazy.
I'm lazy about doing something about being lazy.
I also happen to have suffered from writers block.
Seriously - as kids grow up they do way less stuff that I can exploit for my own humor. It's a little disappointing, and I have tried to set them up on occasion, just for a laugh.
I bought a treadmill.
I BOUGHT A TREADMILL.
And I used it for a good 3 weeks prior to a holiday.
It was extremely exhausting.
The kids are now all doing homework-y stuff on the laptop. I have to fight for screen time. Imagine the horror!
And carnage....
I discovered home delivery dinner - Uber eats, Menulog, and all the othes I am yet to conquer!
And believe it or not, on that note, our dinner has arrived!
So I will now go and make a fuss about decanting the takeaway onto real plates so that I can appease the takeaway guilt.