Fear is a powerful and sneaky little thing. I used to think that it was big bad monster that would envelop and overwhelm you, or a strong surge of emotion that would paralyze you. But soon I realised that it wasn’t a big scary monster that we must heroically battle (“Fight your fears, Save the day!”) Rather, it’s a small and manipulative creature that would sneak around your mind and your heart. It nudges you towards making decisions that would minimise your embarrassment and failures , and keeps you on roads that are bright, safe, and full of other people.
“Don’t go there, that’s really dangerous and besides you don’t know where it’d lead!”, Fear says.
“Ok, i guess you’re right”, you reply, and turn away from that path that you were quite curious about.
And so you straighten out your thoughts, and iron out your suit. You tell yourself that Curiosity is for the young, restless, and the irresponsible. You can’t afford to be like them. You’re mature, you’re smart and successful (in what way? never mind, you’ll figure it out later) , your family expects you to ‘do great in life!’ and your friend is already going to buy a house of his own. You need to buck up and get on with the program.
You then do as Fear says and walk on the busy road with everyone else and you realize that well, it’s not so bad after all. You buy a really expensive watch and bag because the great design and quality just resonates with your being. And besides, this is what most mature and responsible people do. You give yourself a pat on the back for your great achievements, and thank goodness Curiosity didn’t get the better of you. It killed the cat, just imagine what it could do to you!
Curiosity then realised that you’d never listen anyway, and so one day it decided to leave you for good.
Tilda