Most days I carry on living my life as normal… I get up and get dressed, go to work, blog, shop, swing dance, meet people, etc. On the outside I look just fine.
But I am not fine. Sigh… I am heartbroken.
It’s been two weeks. Two weeks since the only constant in my life passed away. :(
Friday morning, July 25, 2014 … I awoke to find my Berto in none of his usual spots. Instead, he was sitting in the dark in my bathroom panting heavily and with a blue tongue. And for the next 5-hours, I sat with him in my arms with 100% oxygen over his little face until the Vet and Heart Specialist talked to me about making that “tough decision” and end his suffering.
He had been diagnosed with a collapsing trachea since his first surgery to remove bladder stones a few years earlier (poor lil’ guy). This is why he’s (mostly) seen wearing a harness in order to take any pressure off the trachea. With the help of medication and modification of lifestyle, the collapsing trachea can be controlled but seldom cured. In severe cases, surgery to help open the airways may be beneficial, but most cases are managed medically not surgically. Unfortunately, Bert’s heart condition wouldn’t be able to handle the meds needed for the trachea, and there was great risk with putting him through any other surgeries. So I’ve been mentally preparing for the day when he’d have to leave me… I just thought I would have more time.
I’ve been feeling a lot of guilt. Thoughts of “woulda, coulda, shoulda” keep running through my mind. If only I didn’t go swing dancing in the Beaches that night, maybe I would have noticed sooner. Had I noticed earlier that night, I could have taken him to the Emergency Pet Hospital at Davenport/Yonge with an ICU and the outcome maybe could have been different. I dunno…sigh…
So, I’ve written this memorial post as a tribute to Bert aka The Berto aka Bertso the Flirtso, to his spirit and to the love, loyalty, laughs and companionship he’s given me through the years.
The Beginning
2001 was a big year: I had just broken up with my first serious boyfriend and was about to live completely solo for the first time in my life.
Growing up, my folks weren’t big on having pets. I’ve always wanted a puppy!!! Buuuut, having never owned any kind of animal before I got myself a hamster (named “Puppy”, of course) as training for dog-ownership.
Now this lil’ pup wasn’t without his own style – in fact, there’s a bin devoted to housing all of his many outfits. Yup…I was one of “those” owners :)
Here’s a mini-collection of all his diva looks from Summers to Christmas and everything in-between over the years …
This year…
Bert became a condo-doggie, creating a perch at the end of the sofa to gaze out at the city…
Pee-pad training on the new balcony was a fail…
Bert cheered on the Canadian Men’s Hockey Team as they won gold at Sochi…
And, we got to take a mini-vacay to Sugar Ridge a dog-friendly Yoga Retreat, where Bert got to hangout with the girls (and Turnip) for an extra long weekend. This was the last trip we took together. He lived it up like a king…
Yes, he’s wearing a sun hat…because it’s AWESOME!
Last trip with the pup….Yoga Retreat with the girls
Bert & Turnip … all tuckered out after a long relaxing few days of beach and yoga.
Writing about him and all the fun memories we’ve had together has really helped. I miss him so much.
Farewell my beloved pooch.
Thank you for reading.
~ Bert ~ 2001-2014
Dogs may not be our whole lives. But they make our lives whole. ~ Roger Caras
Have you ever lost a pet? Do you know what it feels like to watch your faithful friend fade away right before your eyes? Are you familiar with the agony involved in deciding to have a beloved pet euthanized?
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