Sit and shit or squat and scat? It’s that eternal question that vexes us all.
This is from a play I wrote called Sit and Shit or Squat and Scat? A bit of scatology for your edification and evacuation. I hope you enjoy it.
Latrine One
The latrine opens in in a resturdant called Designated Shitting Streets. Clay and his hurlfriend Baby are seated. The four stalls of the room around them are defecated with tasteful modern fart.
“Do you love me Baby?”
“Oh Clay. You know I will always be your Clay Baby.”
Good afternoon, sir and welcome to Designated Shitting Streets. Are you ready to ordeal?
“Not yet.”
“That’s fine. No need to hershey. Fecal free to look at the menu until you decide.”
“Ready to odor now?”
“One smear for here, please.”
“I see, one smear for here.”
“Anything to stink with that?”
“I’ll just have squatter. That’ll be fine.”
“Ok, one squatter.”
“So it’s one smear and one squatter, right?”
“That’s right.”
“Anything for dessert after you’re done?”
“What do you have?”
“Pooper and squatter.”
“Pooper will be fine.”
“Thank you sir. Your ordeal will be ready soon in that nice clean white room on the right. Don’t forget to poo in the loo when you are done. Thank you for shopping at Designated Shitting Streets, sir, and have a good day please.”