“A man’s illness is his private territory and, no matter how much he loves you and how close you are, you stay an outsider.”
Accepting help from others is a challenge that anyone who has experienced mental illness,
I am sure will agree with me, is difficult.
“I can do this alone, I don’t need any help” is what a mentally ill person will convince themselves
“There is nothing wrong me”; despite knowing deep down there is, you try to hide what you are feeling
Accepting that you have a mental illness can leave you feeling weak and vulnerable.
I think we become very good liars. Masking over the pain and painting a fake smile to the outside world when inside we have shriveled up and died.
Speaking out in a society that is so judging, where mental health is very much taboo, instead we retreat to a place where we feel safe, trapped inside our own minds we become somewhat mute to the illness. Too afraid to be honest, to share our thoughts and feelings.
Existing but no longer living, we become former shells of who we used to be. Others notice and comment and their worries and questions stab us through the heart. We have for so long shut ourselves off to the outside world, we feel we have failed, all over again.
Someone knows
Someone sees
Someone is telling you that you need help
But you can’t ask for help. Where would you start?
How would you begin to explain what is happening inside in your mind?
Will you be deemed a freak, a danger?
What will happen to your children if they find out you are crazy?
And so the cycle continues. The lies continue to pour from your mouth as you try desperately to hold onto the last bit of sanity you have left.
Asking for help or support leaves you feeling weak and unable to cope, yet in reality its a positive step. Its you shouting ” Hey I am worth it, I am important and I need some help as I don’t want to feel this way anymore”.
Anyone else ever felt this way?Is A Man’s Illness Is His Private Territory?