Photo: mrsdkrebs, Flickr http://www.flickr.com/photos/mrsdkrebs/
I’ve been living in the Netherlands for almost 10 months now and I love it. I love most everything about it. And, in many ways, I’m happier here and now than I’ve ever been before.
When I talk to other expat women about living here, I always hear about how much they miss “home” and how the only reason they’ve been able to make it here has been due to frequent visits: whether they go “there” or family and friends come “here.” They talk about what bothers them about the Dutch culture and the Dutch people and even lament over products in their home country that they can’t get here.
To be honest, there are some things that I missed when I first arrived: Diet Coke, 24-hour establishments, Bath and Body Works, malls, Twizzlers, wider movie selection at the theatres. But after a few months, I was used to not having those things. Yes, I do indulge when I go back to the US, but it’s just not as big a deal to me anymore. In fact, I’ve grown to like things like the stores not being open as late or as often (not only does it allow you to rest and spend time with family and friends, but don’t the store employees deserve some time off too?) and the lack of movies compared to the US (theatres are less crowded and I was only interested in a small percentage of the movies available anyway). And I can’t even tell the difference between Diet Coke and Cola Light anymore!
I never understood the insistence on calling a country you no longer live in “home.” To me, home is where my family (husband and dog) and I are living. Right now, that’s the Netherlands. I see and keep in touch with family and friends back in the States with great frequency. But I’m also building a life here and have become involved in some amazing things and met some amazing people. I feel very much at home here. Whenever I’m asked if I miss America, my response is always “Not as much as I probably should.”
Photo: gastev, Flickr http://www.flickr.com/photos/gastev/
Usually when I’m visiting, it’s just me. All I can think about before I go is how much I don’t want to leave my dog and husband and how the trip is keeping me from all the things going on here in the Netherlands. I start getting upset three nights before my departure and cry like a baby when my husband drops me off at the airport. I always have a good time while I’m visiting, but my underlying thought is how much I miss being with my husband and how I can’t wait to go back.
Well, now I understand a little better. This time, my husband was with me and we had a grand time – sightseeing, indulging in all the foods we can’t get here, seeing family and friends, taking in a movie, and frequenting the theme parks. We attended a wedding of a dear friend and helped surprise my dad with a 50th birthday bash. At two weeks, this was by far the longest I had spent back in the US after moving to the Netherlands last December. I felt a part of everything there again.
When we got to the airport to fly back home, it really occurred to me (I think for the first time) the step that I was making and the life that I was leaving behind. I still call Utrecht home, I still prefer aspects of Dutch life, and we still can’t say for sure where we’ll end up. But I really value – now more than ever – where I came from and who I am. I realize how much America and everything I left behind there has shaped me into who I am today and completed me.
Yes, always adapt as best as you can to your new surroundings, but never forget where you came from. The fact is, I have two “homes” now, which is both a complicated and glorious feeling.
Photo © clogsandtulips