WillS writes:
I have a client that I cut his hair and he knows I’m gay But he still comes to me. Every time I cut his hair I feel the same vibe he is really good looking and I make no secret of that. Now he says he is straight and my life style is not for him but he would never judge me but I can’t help the feeling that he would do a little something if he knew he could get away with it. I mean when I shampoo his hair I give a long scalp massage ,take my time on cut and styling then when all is done I massage his shoulders. Now I know when a “straight man” doesn’t want all of that. What could I say or ask to find out 100% rather he would play in our play ground.
This is so difficult for me. Sorry my gay friend. I really do not have any good advice to give to a man for picking up another man for gay sex! Because I’ve never even done it! It’s a tough call because it is very easy to infuriate someone when you make a pass at them. I can imagine that it must be difficult for a gay man to make a pass at a man who is basically straight. Many straight men could act with outrage and fury which is how a lot of women act when men ask them out. For straight men it must be even more enraging because a gay man made a pass at them.
I don’t feel bad about giving this gay guy some advice because the straight man’s behavior could be seen as slightly suspicious. Also I figure it’s inevitable that any very goodlooking man gets hit on by homosexuals all the time. Since this man is very goodlooking, he’s dealt with gay and bi men quite a few times before and he’s unlikely to flip. Also to the charge of promoting gay sex I would just say that if this straight guy is as straight as he says he is, he will simply turn down the gay man for sex.
If he doesn’t turn him down, I figure that that is because he is already interested in such things, and it is not unusual at all for predominantly straight men to engage in a bit or more than a bit of gay sex on the side. I’ve seen so much of this in my life it is shocking.
I’ve always been able to tell if a man is gay or bi or not because honestly if you spend a bit of time around a gay or bi man, he starts to give off some pretty strong vibes like he is attracted to you in a sexual way. There’s nothing special about the vibe. It simply looks exactly like the vibe a woman gives off when she has a sexual interest in you, real or otherwise.
But my gaydar has gotten a bit broken in the last several years because much to my surprise, young obviously gay men do not give off that “I’m attracted to you” vibe that almost all gay men give off. At first it shocked me, but then I decided humbly that it must be because I am getting old. I’ve long known that 98% of young women are just not interested in me anyway, and I assure that those same women would have acted a whole lot differently if they had met me when I was young.
So if it works for women, surely it works for men too, although young gay men seem to retain the attraction for older men a lot longer than young women do. I’m so old now that I simply don’t even turn on these young gay guys anymore! Amazing. But then, like so many other things, you simply say, “Ah,” and feel that blink of recognition where so many seemingly complicated things are surprisingly logical and simple once you strip away all the barriers to meaning and grab at the true deep meaning behind so many seemingly disparate things.