There’s this idea that floats around that deep down we just know what we are meant to do in the world.
We’re told to look back on our childhood and think of what has always come naturally to us. It’s as if we’re born with a specific plan, a sure path that we’re meant to follow.
For me, that hasn’t been the case…
Growing up I was never quite sure what I wanted to do. It changed all the time.
I wanted to be a professional singer, dancer, and performer (ahem… a backup dancer for Michael Jackson, to be specific). I wanted to be a teacher. I wanted to be a doctor. I wanted to be a criminal investigator CSI-style. I wanted to be a marine biologist and save all the manatees.
There was no shortage in prospective careers as I grew up…
As I approached my college graduation, with a degree in business and marketing, I knew I belonged in the business world. I loved my classes, and I was excited about the career possibilities ahead of me, but I still didn’t know exactly what I wanted to do. I didn’t know what type of company I wanted to work for. I didn’t know what type of position I wanted. I wasn’t sure what kind of work I wanted to do.
So I researched, read a few books, reflected on my skills and thought about what I wanted in a career. A few months into my job hunt, I landed a position at an advertising agency in account services.
It was exactly what I thought I wanted.
Until about 2 months in.
I realized fairly quickly that it wasn’t for me. But, why? What was it exactly that I didn’t like?
Maybe I was in the wrong position and I could be moved to a different job in my current company? But, would I need a different degree for that? Or, maybe I liked my position, but was just at the wrong company? Maybe I don’t like advertising agencies? Maybe I’d be better off in a different environment? Maybe it’s not my job that’s making me unhappy, maybe it’s the city I moved to? Maybe I’d have better luck if I moved again?
I had a hundred questions going through my head each day. I was completely overwhelmed and stuck. I felt frustrated and lost when it came to deciding what I was going to do with my career. I was waiting for the “lightning bolt of clarity”, that moment when you just figure it all out.
But it didn’t come…
And it was a very painful place to be.
It became so painful to get up and go to work every day that I did the only thing a rational person does when they have a problem… they turn to Google.
So I Googled, researched, Pinterested, Facebooked, and read everything I could find that interested me.
I read about marketing and business. I studied how to live healthy, how best to exercise, what to eat, and how to meditate. I studied how to invest, where best to save, and all things related to money and personal finance. I read books on environmental issues, entrepreneurship, human resources, web design, creativity, productivity… you name it.
I listened to Tony Robbins seminars to and from work. I researched life coaching. I read books by Eckhart Tolle and Deepak Chopra. I studied every word Seth Godin published.
I soaked up absolutely everything I had an interest in. I was a sponge.
And eventually, after months of reading and researching, I saw that starting a business was my next career move. So I took steps in that direction. I figured out how to create a website, and my first (really ugly) blog was born. If you saw my website and my blog in the beginning, you’d laugh. It was scattered, messy, and random. But it got me going. It was a first step. It helped me get a little clearer about the kind of work I want to do, and the kinds of things I want to write about.
If you’ve followed me for any length of time, you know that my business has taken many different shapes and forms. It has gone through transformation after transformation, and I know it will continue to. But, the reason I have the website, the blog, and the business I have today is because I took those first baby steps, and I keep at it every day, even if the path gets foggy.
So, if you find yourself wondering when that “lightning bolt of clarity” is going to hit, remember that for some of us, it doesn’t happen that way. Take a few steps forward anyway, even if you’re not sure where you’re going.
Do research. Ask questions. Find answers. Read, read, read. Talk to people. Ask them about their work. Ask them about their life. Start an embarrassing blog and get your thoughts out into the world (like I did). Don’t sit home alone, isolated, and expect to figure it all out. Process your feelings out loud. Grab a friend and a bottle of wine and tell them what’s bugging you.
Even if you have a foggy, fuzzy, vague picture of what you want your life or career to look like, write it down. Scribble out a map. Journal about what you would do all day if you could do anything you wanted. Research different income models. Look at ways to start your own business. Check out companies that are doing work you admire. Make a list of what’s important to you.
If you want a life and career that you’re excited about, throw everything at it. Try everything until you start to get a feel for what you want.
A path will emerge.
Probably not all at once. And it will likely come and go. But a path will show up eventually. And if you’re like me, some days your path will seem clear and easy, like your career is unfolding exactly as it should. Other days, you’ll feel as lost and frustrated as you did when you first got out of college.
Don’t worry if it’s messy and inconsistent and random. It will be. Trust yourself, and keep moving forward anyway.
One of my favorite quotes from Rumi explains this perfectly… “Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.” Follow what you love to do, and your life and career will unfold as it should.
The trouble is that sometimes what pulls us seems overwhelming. Maybe you know deep down that a big life change awaits, and the thought of that is scary. Whether you want to find a new job, get a degree, or move to a new city, it seems like a huge mountain to climb. So we become paralyzed. It’s terrifying to imagine quitting a job to pursue a dance career, so we never take steps in that direction. It’s overwhelming to consider moving to new city, starting a business, or going back to school to get that degree.
These are big decisions, and sometimes they seem so big that we never make them.
But maybe there’s another way… a less risky, less terrifying way to approach our lives and careers.
Maybe it’s not about huge decisions, and big leaps.
Maybe it’s not about plunging into the unknown.
Instead, maybe it’s about gathering information, researching the hell out of what we want, and taking smart, steady steps to get there while mitigating the risk. That’s what I did. I Googled everything you could possibly imagine. My Google history is pretty embarrassing. Anything I didn’t know, I researched. I experimented. I taught myself how to build my first website. I took everything step by step and even though I felt overwhelmed and paralyzed at times, I forced myself to keep moving forward.
And I didn’t jump into starting a business. I had safety nets. I’ve worked a few different part time jobs to cover my bills, to mitigate the risk of working for myself.
There’s a myth out there that the most successful people in the world are incredible risk-takers. Entrepreneurs, actors, and writers all get a reputation for being “high-risk”. There’s this idea that all of these people quit their day jobs, suffer through poverty and rejection for years before making their “big break”.
Some people believe you always must take huge risks in order to reap huge rewards.
That’s just not true.
Most of the successful people I know took their time, took consistent steps toward what they wanted, and didn’t spend endless nights eating ramen noodles and working through the night until 7am.
Those stories do exist, and they’re fun to listen to, but that’s certainly not the majority. Many successful people have lived comfortable, normal lives and steadily worked toward a career they love.
You don’t have to take profound risks, you don’t have to get it right the first time, you don’t have to live in a dimly lit shack cut off from society until you “make it big”. All you need to do is make time and take steps in the direction you want to go. Take 30 minutes every day to research what it takes to become a published author. Once you learn the landscape, use that 30 minutes every day to write. And one day you’ll wake up with that hard copy in your hand and maybe your name on the best-seller list.
It doesn’t have to happen over night. And you don’t have to have it all figured out. I certainly don’t. My path changes every day. And with every twist and turn my career gets stronger and my life gets sweeter.
So, I no longer wait around for lightning bolt moments, or clear direction, or until I’ve got it all figured out. Because I’m fairly certain that day isn’t coming.
And I don’t think you should wait either.
photo credit: flatworldsedge via photopin cc