I love books. You love books.
But let’s be honest, some aspects of books and reading suck. They just do.
I’ve told you about my some of my issues in my bookish pet peeves series. The items in this list today haven’t quite reached “pet peeves” status, but they may be getting pretty close—so you could see them again in that series!
Here are few things that irk me, because we all love a good list of irksome things heading into the weekend.
Books without chapter or section breaks.
Dear authors, you don’t have to title your chapters. You don’t even have to build chapters into your manuscript. But, please, for the love of God, put some type of section break in your books. That can be a number, an asterisk, or just a frickin’ double space. But, please, give my eyes and my brain a rest.
Falling asleep while reading a book.
This is a self-directed critique. Why do I do this? I read and I read until the side of my head is parallel with my shoulder blade and a steady stream of drool has slowly dotted page 352 of my novel.
I need to learn to just put the book down when my eyes start getting heavy, because my reading comprehension is worthless after that. I’ll read 5 more pages until I totally pass out—but it’s pointless, because when I pick the book back up, I’ll remember nothing from those pages.
Book covers in which the author’s name is larger than the title.
I used to blame this on the author, like it’s an ego thing. But that’s likely not the case. When you see an author’s name in the spotlight, larger than the actual title of the book, that was more than likely a design decision that came from the publisher. For example, here’s the cover of The Corrections.
Now I wouldn’t put it past Jonathan Franzen to request that, but I doubt that was his call. Nonetheless, as a reader, it’s a bit off-putting to me.
Unfinished manuscripts released posthumously.
You know your half-written draft of the love story in which Peter Pan falls in love with Gandalf during a vacation on the Death Star? The one you’re kind of embarrassed about? Now what if you died tomorrow and your cousin decided to publish that unfinished, underdeveloped manuscript next year, after cleaning out your house?
I know that example is extreme. But a lot of the greatest writers were perfectionists, and I don’t think they’d take too kindly to having their unfinished work put out there for the public to see. One example—do we really think David Foster Wallace would’ve been okay with The Pale King getting published? I don’t.
Typos, typos, typos.
Bad writing is one thing. You can at least try to explain it away, like “I used that misplaced modifier there for artistic effect.” But when your protagonist Jacque tells his lover, “Your beautiful”…there’s no better way to lose me, the reader. Or when you’re narrator says something like “Damian hid in the alley under teh shadow of night,” I’m out.
These egregious errors pop up more often than not in self-published books, though I know I’ve seen many in traditionally published, classic books too. I’m looking at you Judy Blume. That’s why, if you choose to self-publish, do yourself a massively huge favor and hire an editor. Yes, they can be expensive. But if your book is worth it, you’ll work some extra hours and save the money you need to hire one.
Novels that get crapped on by their movie adaptations.
Most of you will likely kill me for this, but I thought Baz Luhrmann did a better job with adapting Gatsby than Stanley Kubrick did with adapting A Clockwork Orange.
I’ll duck the tomatoes now!
Books have and will be written on this, but I feel like if you are adapting a piece of art—not creating that art yourself—you have a responsibility to uphold the original artist’s intent in your adapted work. Luhrman’s methods were different in showing the rebellion of the 1920s, but they still showed the rebelliousness and the extravagance of the era in a way relevant to a modern audience.
Kubrick just changed the entire meaning of A Clockwork Orange by eliminating Anthony Burgess’s preferred ending. To me, that’s not art…that’s just P. Diddy ripping off a loop from a 1970s song, throwing in his own lyrics, and making a bunch of money off it.
Ducking more tomatoes now!
Please be kind! Don’t hate me too much!
But what do you think? What irks you when it comes to books and reading?